~Ingin kuberlari di samudera cintamu
dan menyelam di kejauhan dasarnya
biar kukutip segala khazanah yang kaupendam
lalu menyimpannya di hatiku
untuk kau lihat di esok hari
~Ingin kuberlari mengejar ombak di samudera cintamu
dan bercempera dibuih-buih yang bercanda
biar kupilin dan kupintal remis laut
lalu kuuntai menjadi kalung cinta
untuk kupersembahkan dengan sehalus kasihku
~Ingin kumudiki samudera cintamu
dan melayarkan gentalaku ke segara lautannya
biar menjunam dihempas gelombang cintamu
lalu karam ke dasarnya
untuk berkubur dalam pelukanmu
~Ingin kujadi camar di samudera cintamu
dan mengibar sayapku dipermukaannya
biar kuintai wajahmu yang terpapar di tiap kilauan airnya
lalu menelusuri apakah ada bait-bait yang terapung di situ
tertulis bahawa dikau masih mencintaiku
bagai dulu
aargh..bisakah kutemui
bait seindah itu..?
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year!
With every New Year, sure..sure, welcome the arrival of new challenges! For writers yg rajinlaa..let's welcome to the new opportunities and new ideas. But how to achieve one's goals, targets while renewing all the strategies in order to keep pace with the changing nature of the NEW YEAR SO AS TO remain relevant? KUIKUIKUI ~ Contemplate dear.. [with smile and 1001 hopes]
TRY THIS RESOLUTION AYY?
Throw all the effort to be a little succesful.
Life is not complete if you don't realise your maximum potential and and try to be successful. Anyway, the distinctness of success may vary from individual to individual. Person to person. Whatever your definition of success is, you must resolve to be thriving in life. Try not to fail in implementing them COBA YERR DARLING?
Success is great input and stimulant for happiness and long life. This includes your resoluteness to earn more wealth, set up a new job or task, manage time and organise ourself. Perhaps it's rather overdoing to advice you to devote so much time and all efforts so, be relax while keeping pace or retaining the consistencies of every crusade and fight [harap tak over] So try laah ..try dear..
SO SELAMAT TAHUN BARULAH DARI SAYA HAIZA NAJWA. Jgn luper bce novel2 sy.
TRY THIS RESOLUTION AYY?
Throw all the effort to be a little succesful.
Life is not complete if you don't realise your maximum potential and and try to be successful. Anyway, the distinctness of success may vary from individual to individual. Person to person. Whatever your definition of success is, you must resolve to be thriving in life. Try not to fail in implementing them COBA YERR DARLING?
Success is great input and stimulant for happiness and long life. This includes your resoluteness to earn more wealth, set up a new job or task, manage time and organise ourself. Perhaps it's rather overdoing to advice you to devote so much time and all efforts so, be relax while keeping pace or retaining the consistencies of every crusade and fight [harap tak over] So try laah ..try dear..
SO SELAMAT TAHUN BARULAH DARI SAYA HAIZA NAJWA. Jgn luper bce novel2 sy.
Friday, November 12, 2010
please don't be an ignorant mother
DON’T BE LIKE ME
What I WISH to tell you all, may sound very common to others. But as for me, it was real heartbreaking for a mother. A sheer act of ignorance and of course ‘selfishness’ is the best interpretation. Decide yourself viewers, how you wish to define or translate.
Whether you would accuse me of being braggart, showing off or whatever, you have all the rights by all means! But do, read this first!
Here is a good example of a mother who is damn selfish and of course, ignorant! For throughout my life, before this, not even once I tried to share or explored my youngest daughter’s dreams or ambition, or what she wished to become in her future. Why? Because she’s the most loved baby of mine! Any ambition would means a career. And having a career would mean, she could be pulled away from my side.
I'm probably not as concerned as my late husband about the children’s welfare, education-wise. In fact, I was less concerned about myself too. I was kind of complacent Malay woman. A kinda category that would always be satisfied with what she has. And to me, showering them with love was more important. Surpassed everything else including their education. So, I let them did as they please.
I wasn't that all in and out about my children's education , since my concern was more on providing them with love, cares and other material needs. Tuition-wise, I'd send them if they wish me to do so and hardly would forced them should they opt not to attend them. But fate was beautiful and most of them were always eager to learn. And beautiful still was the fate, when most of them managed to get straights A's for their prime exams and each one of them made it to the ivory towers. One of them even ‘lompat kelas’
It’s so happened that when my husband demised. I got too close with the youngest. I treated her overly until she became too spoiled. As consequence, she never appreciated the money or things given to her , even when it came to food. She’s showered lavishly. And makan-wise, only savor on special menus. But I like her principle, which is, never trust anyone else other than me the loving momma!
She would sleep in my arms otherwise she could not sleep, despite being 12 years of age! And eating , I still spoonfed her! She never did her school works either. But never did I nag or bother her in return. If I had to go anywhere might it be out of the country or outstation, I would never hesitate to bring along her. Even that would mean she had to skip classes for so many days. God! I didn't want her to be so successful afraid she might go far to further her studies. Or for other opportunities held for her.
Now, it’s standard 6
Once she asked me, momm aren’t you going to send me for tuition? My result are hell worst.”
I told her, it’s okay with me if there was anybody willing to send her to and fro the tuition premises since I ‘m myself is very busy. I wouldn't mind paying extra amount should there be anyone interested to carry out that task for me. She retorted, "it does not matter, since the school also provides tuition." So things went on as usual. Like the conversation never occurred.
In the meantime she was often called by her teachers for truancy, and she rarely did her home works. Even myself was being contacted and asked by her teacher to observe her studies and school works . As you could guess, I did not really bother. And just let that incident passed . Wasn't that important anyway. After all, we would surely part if she pandai sangat!
But one or two months before her UPSR I noticed she never missed her additional class and tuition at school. Although she hardly hold a book when at home. She told me, her teachers methode of teaching were getting more and more interesting. I dengar tak dengar saja.
But on the first day of UPSR’s exam, before climbing down the car to sit for her first day exam she said in a trembling voice
"Mom, can you pray for me. I'm afraid if I can’t get thru this exam. But I already did the solat hajat and doa. . Pray for my success momm please?" She said that many times as she grasped my hand so tightly. She really was scared!
I was dumbfounded, and so nodded. Because to be honest, I scantily prayed for her to achieve well in her exam other than praying for her good life and health and to be a good Muslim. As for her UPSR, langsung tak terjamah doaku!
So while driving home, I was weeping so badly, everytime her pleading voices touches my eardrum again and again. Then only I realized that I was wrong, was ignoring her in the UPSR focus. Realized the damage I had done.
Ever since that moment and day, I would be tearful and kept weeping when my impulse recalled all those words she said. God, if it is just too late, how I wished semalam menjadi milikku semula .
SO TODAY, this morning while I was waiting for the results of the UPSR, I grabbed the hands of one of the teacher, the one my daughter really sayang and told her that I was afraid she could not make it. and yes, I couldnt ’t help my tears from dripping. I wept infront of her. I wasn't afraid of her being a flunk. But afraid she would blame me for years, for not putting much interest in her study.
But GOD IS GREAT, to my shock, her name was second to be announced as achiever of the stunning result!!
I'm speechless! Flabbergasted!!
God I screamed dgn muka tak malu kat org lain and ran to her seat. Seeing her face wet with tears I rasa nak pitam and at that time, I noticed who she really was in my eyes, the most shining 'mutiara dari laut plg dalam' . She’s the most beautiful, most spoiled, most soothing to my heart. And I LOVE HER TO THE DEEPEST ABYSS IN MY HEART.
GOD she had succeeded! Succeed with the permission of God, the greatness of her trained teachers and on her own. And my very small portion of prayers. .
I'm ashamed of it! Ashamed for not being a part of her phenomenal success, or WAS I….
Please all mothers out there..dun be like me!
What I WISH to tell you all, may sound very common to others. But as for me, it was real heartbreaking for a mother. A sheer act of ignorance and of course ‘selfishness’ is the best interpretation. Decide yourself viewers, how you wish to define or translate.
Whether you would accuse me of being braggart, showing off or whatever, you have all the rights by all means! But do, read this first!
Here is a good example of a mother who is damn selfish and of course, ignorant! For throughout my life, before this, not even once I tried to share or explored my youngest daughter’s dreams or ambition, or what she wished to become in her future. Why? Because she’s the most loved baby of mine! Any ambition would means a career. And having a career would mean, she could be pulled away from my side.
I'm probably not as concerned as my late husband about the children’s welfare, education-wise. In fact, I was less concerned about myself too. I was kind of complacent Malay woman. A kinda category that would always be satisfied with what she has. And to me, showering them with love was more important. Surpassed everything else including their education. So, I let them did as they please.
I wasn't that all in and out about my children's education , since my concern was more on providing them with love, cares and other material needs. Tuition-wise, I'd send them if they wish me to do so and hardly would forced them should they opt not to attend them. But fate was beautiful and most of them were always eager to learn. And beautiful still was the fate, when most of them managed to get straights A's for their prime exams and each one of them made it to the ivory towers. One of them even ‘lompat kelas’
It’s so happened that when my husband demised. I got too close with the youngest. I treated her overly until she became too spoiled. As consequence, she never appreciated the money or things given to her , even when it came to food. She’s showered lavishly. And makan-wise, only savor on special menus. But I like her principle, which is, never trust anyone else other than me the loving momma!
She would sleep in my arms otherwise she could not sleep, despite being 12 years of age! And eating , I still spoonfed her! She never did her school works either. But never did I nag or bother her in return. If I had to go anywhere might it be out of the country or outstation, I would never hesitate to bring along her. Even that would mean she had to skip classes for so many days. God! I didn't want her to be so successful afraid she might go far to further her studies. Or for other opportunities held for her.
Now, it’s standard 6
Once she asked me, momm aren’t you going to send me for tuition? My result are hell worst.”
I told her, it’s okay with me if there was anybody willing to send her to and fro the tuition premises since I ‘m myself is very busy. I wouldn't mind paying extra amount should there be anyone interested to carry out that task for me. She retorted, "it does not matter, since the school also provides tuition." So things went on as usual. Like the conversation never occurred.
In the meantime she was often called by her teachers for truancy, and she rarely did her home works. Even myself was being contacted and asked by her teacher to observe her studies and school works . As you could guess, I did not really bother. And just let that incident passed . Wasn't that important anyway. After all, we would surely part if she pandai sangat!
But one or two months before her UPSR I noticed she never missed her additional class and tuition at school. Although she hardly hold a book when at home. She told me, her teachers methode of teaching were getting more and more interesting. I dengar tak dengar saja.
But on the first day of UPSR’s exam, before climbing down the car to sit for her first day exam she said in a trembling voice
"Mom, can you pray for me. I'm afraid if I can’t get thru this exam. But I already did the solat hajat and doa. . Pray for my success momm please?" She said that many times as she grasped my hand so tightly. She really was scared!
I was dumbfounded, and so nodded. Because to be honest, I scantily prayed for her to achieve well in her exam other than praying for her good life and health and to be a good Muslim. As for her UPSR, langsung tak terjamah doaku!
So while driving home, I was weeping so badly, everytime her pleading voices touches my eardrum again and again. Then only I realized that I was wrong, was ignoring her in the UPSR focus. Realized the damage I had done.
Ever since that moment and day, I would be tearful and kept weeping when my impulse recalled all those words she said. God, if it is just too late, how I wished semalam menjadi milikku semula .
SO TODAY, this morning while I was waiting for the results of the UPSR, I grabbed the hands of one of the teacher, the one my daughter really sayang and told her that I was afraid she could not make it. and yes, I couldnt ’t help my tears from dripping. I wept infront of her. I wasn't afraid of her being a flunk. But afraid she would blame me for years, for not putting much interest in her study.
But GOD IS GREAT, to my shock, her name was second to be announced as achiever of the stunning result!!
I'm speechless! Flabbergasted!!
God I screamed dgn muka tak malu kat org lain and ran to her seat. Seeing her face wet with tears I rasa nak pitam and at that time, I noticed who she really was in my eyes, the most shining 'mutiara dari laut plg dalam' . She’s the most beautiful, most spoiled, most soothing to my heart. And I LOVE HER TO THE DEEPEST ABYSS IN MY HEART.
GOD she had succeeded! Succeed with the permission of God, the greatness of her trained teachers and on her own. And my very small portion of prayers. .
I'm ashamed of it! Ashamed for not being a part of her phenomenal success, or WAS I….
Please all mothers out there..dun be like me!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
FRAGMENTS of yesterday
had a dream about you last night
vision of you stood up there
waving me with longing gaze
I looked above. . marveled at the abruptly visible lunar
Dark tarnished sky was gone
nite luminous with twinkling stars
wondered was the moment real?
standing over a distance ~ was you
The breeze whispered the words that you missed me
God how mellifluous the sound was to my ears..
I stirred closer
only to see you backed away
“this world is a no home for me
thus I could not remain behind
Dwell not over the past,
irrespective how full your heart of loves for me
Wherever there’s horizon, there’s always be
a part of me there
we bound to meet again..till then
make me happy by beaming to your heart..
You moved away, and left me staring at the bleary vision
you're becoming more and more out of reach
drifting away amidst the darkness
then your frail illusion
faded before my teary eyes
tell me, sayang
Just.. where do I belong
In this world without you
God help me..
vision of you stood up there
waving me with longing gaze
I looked above. . marveled at the abruptly visible lunar
Dark tarnished sky was gone
nite luminous with twinkling stars
wondered was the moment real?
standing over a distance ~ was you
The breeze whispered the words that you missed me
God how mellifluous the sound was to my ears..
I stirred closer
only to see you backed away
“this world is a no home for me
thus I could not remain behind
Dwell not over the past,
irrespective how full your heart of loves for me
Wherever there’s horizon, there’s always be
a part of me there
we bound to meet again..till then
make me happy by beaming to your heart..
You moved away, and left me staring at the bleary vision
you're becoming more and more out of reach
drifting away amidst the darkness
then your frail illusion
faded before my teary eyes
tell me, sayang
Just.. where do I belong
In this world without you
God help me..
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Aura Wanita Malaysia
Me..a real flabbergasted momma ..
There's this lad. One of many, I picked him coz he's the smartest looking compared to the rest. And he's from across the sea. Well.. sure can interpret what I mean,. This one keeps on messaging me. And the despicable part is that the act is done throu my FB inbox. He really adds the amounting figure and heaven knows how I hate opening the inbox, alwez feel threatened by the amount which keeps on amounting no matter how frequent you delete'em. A real menacing fact to face everyday. And to this lad, I told him to call a halt to his pursuing. And this lad's favourite remark that's really annoying is,
Mba kuingin mengenalimu lebih dalam, hatiku tersentuh sekali dengan mba yg begitu enak kupandang. Enak?
What am I to him? What kind of expression is that? Do I look like Nasi Lemak Sambal Sotong Kering to him? That is torturous enough. Real excruciating..damn! Especially when it's a citation from someone as childlike as him. He's scantily over 24! Why youngsters from that region loves blathering weird remarks like that and at the same time revealing the naive trait in their personality. Perhaps not all, but still it ain't modest to keep on approaching someone older with remark like that. Ain't that so?
So tak tahan, I fikir biar I settle this once and for all.
"Lad..you're fit to be my son, quit what you are doing now. Tak manis dan mba rasa tak selesa. Quit sending me love poems too for it's really bothering dan tak manis utk kanak-kanak seusiamu."
"Sy justeru bukan kanak-kanak spt yg mba katakan."
"Awak muda sangat nak, nk bercinta ke haper niih? Eii..solatlah selalu dear."
"Sy mang tak pernah tinggal solat. Tapi sy ske gaya mba gitu. Sangat personaliti." Aiikk..bahasa pertuturan amende tuuh..dalam hatiku saja.
"Sy lihat byk skali novel mba. Mba sgt hebat di mata saye."
"Sy sudah terangkan yg sy bukan mude lagi nak. Dan ramai lagi penulis dg novel lebih banyak daripada beta. And I'm much older than you sonny!"
Two day after that.
"Yeah..itu yg sering saya fikirkan. kerana angka spt tak menyentuh mba."
"What..?"
"Maksud sy, mba punya aura yg begitu hebat skali, di usia ini mba masih kelihatan sangat muda."
Aku terkedu. Rasa sayu terharu pun ada. Tapi ikhlas ke. he heh
"Awak suke sy macam mana dik?"
One hour after that.
"Sy sgt menyanjung mba. Sgt minat mba. Mba sangat hebat di mata sy."
"Yeah..perlu ke mba terima kasih. Takpe laa terima kasih nak. Tp slpas ni panggillah bunda ya?"
Di situ bicara kami berakhir.
Disagreed kot!
In a way, it's kinda assuaging. But at times, I feel like.. such an ungrateful dullard plus lotsa idiot. Pity that innocent boy.
Then recently, I received another message from him. With another love poem attached to it. For the first time I really sifted tru his poem and grow to love every verses. God he's such a poet laureate! It was a beautiful poem and how I wish I can turn myself to be a sweet seventeen so that I could respond freely to such lovely rhymes. Respond to him too ;)
Below, there's a note. I felt a quiver running thru my spine reading it.
"Mba, kite terpisah lautan yg bukan kecil utk ku renangi. Salahkah jika sy brperasaan spt itu pd mba krn bukannya sy akan sbrangi ke sana buat menganggu atau mndekati hidup mba. Bisakan bercinta begini. tiada yg rugi dan tiada satu apa yg bisa trjejas. ianya indah mba, perasaan itu mang indah jika saja mba mau menelusurnya."
I didn't reply. But I wish I cud paste the poem in my FB for it's a divine beauty but via other's FB that poem cud easily catch his eyes regardless of the fact that I have already removed him from my list.
Dan satu message kuterima dpd dia baru2 ini dan katanya..dan ini I rasa harus I sampaikan pada seluruh wanita di Malaysia.
"Hairan ya mba, sy lihat banyak wanita Malaysia lambat tua.Masih kelihatan muda dilanjut usia mereka." Satu penghargaan niih.
Yg ini sy replied.
"Sude begitu lanjutkah usia mba padmu dik?"
Mesej balasnya. At night on the same date.
"Owh tak mba. Jangan salah faham. Itu sy tujukan pd wanita2 di Malaysia. Bukan mba. Mba lain. Sgt istimewa di hati sy."
Sekarang sy termangu.
Oh yeahh..? Kalau bukan wanita Malaysia..saya ni wanita apa? See? A slight error in your remark already interpreted a funny picture. So teoriku, dia ni mesti hanya belajar dipesantren.
So I did some search..Giler2 aku cari nama dia.. Look what I found!
Goodness, he's a grad fr. Universitas Gajah Mada..Dumbstricken that was my condition.
Tp tak taulaa kot dia sj2 tlis. Byk org buat gitu erkk?
There's this lad. One of many, I picked him coz he's the smartest looking compared to the rest. And he's from across the sea. Well.. sure can interpret what I mean,. This one keeps on messaging me. And the despicable part is that the act is done throu my FB inbox. He really adds the amounting figure and heaven knows how I hate opening the inbox, alwez feel threatened by the amount which keeps on amounting no matter how frequent you delete'em. A real menacing fact to face everyday. And to this lad, I told him to call a halt to his pursuing. And this lad's favourite remark that's really annoying is,
Mba kuingin mengenalimu lebih dalam, hatiku tersentuh sekali dengan mba yg begitu enak kupandang. Enak?
What am I to him? What kind of expression is that? Do I look like Nasi Lemak Sambal Sotong Kering to him? That is torturous enough. Real excruciating..damn! Especially when it's a citation from someone as childlike as him. He's scantily over 24! Why youngsters from that region loves blathering weird remarks like that and at the same time revealing the naive trait in their personality. Perhaps not all, but still it ain't modest to keep on approaching someone older with remark like that. Ain't that so?
So tak tahan, I fikir biar I settle this once and for all.
"Lad..you're fit to be my son, quit what you are doing now. Tak manis dan mba rasa tak selesa. Quit sending me love poems too for it's really bothering dan tak manis utk kanak-kanak seusiamu."
"Sy justeru bukan kanak-kanak spt yg mba katakan."
"Awak muda sangat nak, nk bercinta ke haper niih? Eii..solatlah selalu dear."
"Sy mang tak pernah tinggal solat. Tapi sy ske gaya mba gitu. Sangat personaliti." Aiikk..bahasa pertuturan amende tuuh..dalam hatiku saja.
"Sy lihat byk skali novel mba. Mba sgt hebat di mata saye."
"Sy sudah terangkan yg sy bukan mude lagi nak. Dan ramai lagi penulis dg novel lebih banyak daripada beta. And I'm much older than you sonny!"
Two day after that.
"Yeah..itu yg sering saya fikirkan. kerana angka spt tak menyentuh mba."
"What..?"
"Maksud sy, mba punya aura yg begitu hebat skali, di usia ini mba masih kelihatan sangat muda."
Aku terkedu. Rasa sayu terharu pun ada. Tapi ikhlas ke. he heh
"Awak suke sy macam mana dik?"
One hour after that.
"Sy sgt menyanjung mba. Sgt minat mba. Mba sangat hebat di mata sy."
"Yeah..perlu ke mba terima kasih. Takpe laa terima kasih nak. Tp slpas ni panggillah bunda ya?"
Di situ bicara kami berakhir.
Disagreed kot!
In a way, it's kinda assuaging. But at times, I feel like.. such an ungrateful dullard plus lotsa idiot. Pity that innocent boy.
Then recently, I received another message from him. With another love poem attached to it. For the first time I really sifted tru his poem and grow to love every verses. God he's such a poet laureate! It was a beautiful poem and how I wish I can turn myself to be a sweet seventeen so that I could respond freely to such lovely rhymes. Respond to him too ;)
Below, there's a note. I felt a quiver running thru my spine reading it.
"Mba, kite terpisah lautan yg bukan kecil utk ku renangi. Salahkah jika sy brperasaan spt itu pd mba krn bukannya sy akan sbrangi ke sana buat menganggu atau mndekati hidup mba. Bisakan bercinta begini. tiada yg rugi dan tiada satu apa yg bisa trjejas. ianya indah mba, perasaan itu mang indah jika saja mba mau menelusurnya."
I didn't reply. But I wish I cud paste the poem in my FB for it's a divine beauty but via other's FB that poem cud easily catch his eyes regardless of the fact that I have already removed him from my list.
Dan satu message kuterima dpd dia baru2 ini dan katanya..dan ini I rasa harus I sampaikan pada seluruh wanita di Malaysia.
"Hairan ya mba, sy lihat banyak wanita Malaysia lambat tua.Masih kelihatan muda dilanjut usia mereka." Satu penghargaan niih.
Yg ini sy replied.
"Sude begitu lanjutkah usia mba padmu dik?"
Mesej balasnya. At night on the same date.
"Owh tak mba. Jangan salah faham. Itu sy tujukan pd wanita2 di Malaysia. Bukan mba. Mba lain. Sgt istimewa di hati sy."
Sekarang sy termangu.
Oh yeahh..? Kalau bukan wanita Malaysia..saya ni wanita apa? See? A slight error in your remark already interpreted a funny picture. So teoriku, dia ni mesti hanya belajar dipesantren.
So I did some search..Giler2 aku cari nama dia.. Look what I found!
Goodness, he's a grad fr. Universitas Gajah Mada..Dumbstricken that was my condition.
Tp tak taulaa kot dia sj2 tlis. Byk org buat gitu erkk?
Friday, July 9, 2010
to Hasrul Nizam, Ruler of RepublikN9
lacking imaginativeness is truly an impediment to any writer. Hate this kinda obstructions, make me wanna throw aside my PC n notebook. AND hate the damn bloody stimulus that stimulate the whole phenomenon which brush aside the best element in the head faculty - the so called intuition. Being trapped in this sorta occlusion made me realized how foolish I was. God I was almost at my peak and I destroy it over a worthless sent.....?
Sorry Hasrul, I kedana idea so I copy the simple sajak from my FB and paste it here. Daa janji ngan you kan? Aargh..so enjoy it laa..
sebuah catatan
~season adjoins another
as times arrive and banish from sight
leaving tearfilled eyes, broken heart
can't help but wonder
those who left behind ~
that fate left alive
fagged without soul ~
clambering with adversity
wud they survive..?
~But grief evanesce tardily
so what will I do without you...
with tomorrow.. in distant world
and promises that were led astray
just how could you..?
Sorry Hasrul, I kedana idea so I copy the simple sajak from my FB and paste it here. Daa janji ngan you kan? Aargh..so enjoy it laa..
sebuah catatan
~season adjoins another
as times arrive and banish from sight
leaving tearfilled eyes, broken heart
can't help but wonder
those who left behind ~
that fate left alive
fagged without soul ~
clambering with adversity
wud they survive..?
~But grief evanesce tardily
so what will I do without you...
with tomorrow.. in distant world
and promises that were led astray
just how could you..?
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Launching a Crusade to battle every obstacle after a decade of hibernation. A New Manuscript jest has to complete its course dis time! [Must.must.must]
Over a year in dilemma and conflict with myself. With uncertainty of what to become of me. Every now n then, any physical contact with the keyboard, wud conjure up dis mental confusion and perplexity. The bitchy attitude n feeling of indolence. Few might guess that dis may result fr. feeling complacent after having ten books. Nay..of course that was scarcely the reason. Just look at Anis Ayuni, Aisya Sofea. Aleyya, Ram or Damya, never give up in writing n writing, one karya after another. Masses of'em. They're the genuine writers I reckon. Me? Fuuh..never mind, sekarang aku nk menulis blek slpas staon jd msia x brguna di novelist arena. Dan kucuba meraikan kegemilangan perubahan attitude trsebut. Siap dgn notebook, tp sepatah haram pown tak tlis. Mkn pown seciput. xrse hepi pown. Aargh..br tlis title 'Miraj di hatiku' K'dian back to FB ha ha ha. [2morrow, another crusade, fighting the inner me]Saturday, May 22, 2010
ILUSI HATI novel KE 9 - BUKU KE 10
Sebuah cinta yg bermula di alam koma di mana Joshua dan Jasmine saling berhubungan setelah ke 2nya terbabit dalam nahas kemalangan yang sama. Sesudah sedar mereka terus bertelepati bahkan terus berhubungan melalui mimpi. Masing-masing cuba merealisasikan ikrar utk bertemu seandainya sedar.[Kerana tika koma ke 2nya pernah beristikrar utk bertemu di resort Tioman. Tmpt trsebut ada nostalgia buat Jasmine bersama arwah ayah angkatnya Firdaus]
Ya mereka bertemu, tp tanpa menyedari kehadiran masing-masing. Weirdkan? Gitu juga dengan psaan, masing2 terasa getaran hati masing2 tiap kali kebetulan ada berdekatan, namun mereka gagal menelusuri intuisi sendiri bhw pertemuan mereka sudahpun terlestari tanpa mereka sedari. Alangkah sedih pabila cinta terhalang oleh watak oportunis iaitu Marlia yang sanggup berlakon dan mendakwa bahawa dialah sebenarnya yang bertelepati dengan Joshua bukannya Jasmine. Walhal Jasmine telah banyak menabur budi padanya. Gitulah kaum Hawa, sanggup menodai persahabatan demi seorang Adam yg dicintai. The rest I will leave to you viewers. Find the novel in d nearest book store selg ada. Sebelum kehabisan. Bye for now sayang-sayangku. Salamz. {Jangan terkeliru pula bler mndpti Jasmine di btkan Abdullah kern Firdaus hanyalah ayah angkat padanya]
REALLY WISH I COULD CHANGE THE HEADING UP THERE, SO OUT OF DATE ALREADY BUT THAT'S BEBY'S WORK N DONT WANNA HURT HER. SHE EXCRUCIATED HERSELF TREMENDOUSLY FOR THAT PURPOSE..eeiiya..terhutang budi susah lhorr..
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Again for wannabes, little more tips to get started
If U bump into a person who bought ur piece, then wat's d very 1st remark U'll hear? Aha..stereotypically, the person'd enunciate, 'Hey..I wanna b a writer 2. But how ah..?"
Then stereotypically, U too'd be vocalizing dis very same conventional answer.
"U jest write lorr..then after completing 3 or 400 pages U jest send laa to any publisher U wish, if good, dey'll sure respond 2 U." Then come this prompt reply from the same respondent, , "Eiiya..I tak reti menulis!"
What the h..
We practice and do that every now and then man!
How'bout assignments? Letters? Or note[berjela] to your supreme asking for a day or two off? Then these nauseating love-letters that can turn one's stomach? Or composing essays or compositions for your offsprings when actually the tasks were supposed to be their intense jobs? Any editorial intentionally created for intended respondent is called writing. Only the material that U write counts!Well..?
Now writing a novel..
Believe me, it's a usual thing. The beza is nak ker tak nak. As for me, one or two karya a year or perhaps one really, is the amplest.
Now a novel..how to write them?
First check the interest and taste of reader's category you wish to focalize. Focus on one, contoh novel remaja. Of course commingle with'em'd be the damn best solution.
The first move, pick a subject.
Nak buat citer apa..cinta? misteri? War aftermath?
What U need is appeal to the classification of reader you defined. For writing actually is communicating. You transmit your ideas, thoughts and views and the readers receive. Even thou the respondent considered passive. But there'd be multiple reactions and provide time-lag, reaksi itu akan anda terima kemudian. And sure it worth all the enormous time that U've sacrificed!
Trouble getting started? Tu biasa..
As for me I love commencing from the middle of the storyline..then keep flashing back to get to the subject. Somehow for the beginners, arranging the plot chronologically is more advisable to avoid complication of writer's block.
Jumpa lg..tapi ingat, penstrukturan..yg mana merangkumi tema, perwatakan, latar, teknik penyampaian atau writer's style..semua kena cukup
Adios!
Now I'm sambungin..wanna make new entry but..afraid whole idea jd topsy turvy n catastrophic so here it goes..
Kesalahan nahu.
B4 submitting your master piece - ha ha- edit ur writing khas 2 check on grammatical inconsistencies, kira nahu errorlaa 2.
Some authors ske sgt main anta whilst the correction..? leave it 2 the editor,
"Hey..they are paid 4 the job so why kisah. Important thg my idea gonna make money 4 d company, I'm a star." fuuh gila laaH!
As U know the editor alwyz being stuffed with few manuscripts, bukan you sorang punyer jerr.. Sometimes more than that. What d'U expect? The company kne kejar dateline apatah lg com. yg mmg menerbitkan specific number of books 4 specific time, troklah editor..they're human too and human errs.. So try to review d error, analyze'em so that in future U won't repeat the same kebendulan. jadi lebih pandai.. Kalau bley tandakan merah so that u can skim thru them repeatedly..now adios again - kte jumpa lg[kalau nk jumpa!] we'll discuss 'bout plotting plakk..Not interested..? x per..I'll still do it!
Today 9 April..feel like continuing. Who knows, kot ad yg mampu menyerap psiko I.
so..heres some basic pattern yg common for novel writing. Pd I pattern tu sinonim plot jugalaa. Hope my doctrine is correct. ha ha
Let's forget the complicated pattern n centralize on chronological one. After all, whole idea is meant for wannabes.
Arrange citer you in proper order so that you'll give the reader the exact sequence. Hubungkait step by step by providing logical connection within plot. For intance, when discussing about certain bahan, lagi efektif if you and ur reader sama2 trace from the beginning contoh punca terjadi, then sepanjang the occurrence or the kejadian then, aftermath., implication and consequences.Giving the accounts of the whole events from d start, the developement and finally the consequences of the incident. The emphasis tentu lbey byk on d cerita development kerana itu yg nk dinovelkan. Kerana skrg penerbit hanya sanggup menerima minimum pages 500 m/surat, better if you don't elongate too much on the cause that generates the event. That'd limit the space for intipati cerita. Melengahkan klimaks dan membosankan pembaca yg memang nak tau cerita dgn cepat. Tol tak? Then the aftermath..make it firm but don't prolong, buat secara yg sungguh mengesankan..Well cubalah!
Maybe lain penulis lain cara..tp this is Haiza's trend..Kalau I buat citer sdey..I review dan bygkn I org lain, kalau susah nk kuar air mata, mmg sah tu citer batu[no sentiment], delete jerr or reedit and reedit. Klu U berhasil menumpahkan air mata sendiri, that's it - U daa berjaya. Tp tak taulah klu memang jenis cembeng sokmo then of course this methode scarcely could b applied. Hmm... Adios again..
JOM SAMBUNG....!!!! 24th April 2010
Before submitting ur work to any publisher, might it b in hard copy or just thru emailing, I'd advice you again to b cautious of dis complicated task for any editor. Grammatical mistakes amat membosankan editor because this 'shouldn't b happening matter' would only prolong the editing process when there're a lot of other things that must b prioritized, this school job's task is very tiring. Ask any editor. So dun take thing for granted! Kejam tu..
So sift thru you work several times, take any amount of time you need , nobody is forcing you a dateline if you commence on d project b4 schedule.
There's a method here if you are keen on following, psychoanalyze what type of errors you alwez trapped urself into, next time you'll b alerted not to repeat them. Alah bisa tegal biasa. Cayeelaa
Macam I sendiri, I selalu trtulis sayang sbgi sayagn, yang sbg yagn dan diplomatik I tertulis dogmatik - so mula2 I cr benda2 ney dulu dan repair. Then br yg lain pulakk. Tu maknanya mengenalpasti kelemahan lazim kita..Got that..? Sbnarnya byk tp 'you fikirlah sendiri'
I bg contoh sedikit and the rest..you do it. So do the sifting a number of time before turrning over ur master piece..
I wanna discuss about plotting some more since they're more important to some novelist rather than d storyline itself but I've to go now..so see U next time klu berminat..
Oops.. lupa plakk.. nahu ney sgt penting dlm tiap conversation in any novel.
I pernah terbaca..kritikan K.Wynn di mana seorg novelis created a chapter di mana seorg profesional sedang berbual dgn respondennya by employing kata-kata yg langsung tak sesuai dgn kriteria si pewatak yg diuarkan sebagai seorang profesional.
So plez take note of this simple mistake..
Then stereotypically, U too'd be vocalizing dis very same conventional answer.
"U jest write lorr..then after completing 3 or 400 pages U jest send laa to any publisher U wish, if good, dey'll sure respond 2 U." Then come this prompt reply from the same respondent, , "Eiiya..I tak reti menulis!"
What the h..
We practice and do that every now and then man!
How'bout assignments? Letters? Or note[berjela] to your supreme asking for a day or two off? Then these nauseating love-letters that can turn one's stomach? Or composing essays or compositions for your offsprings when actually the tasks were supposed to be their intense jobs? Any editorial intentionally created for intended respondent is called writing. Only the material that U write counts!Well..?
Now writing a novel..
Believe me, it's a usual thing. The beza is nak ker tak nak. As for me, one or two karya a year or perhaps one really, is the amplest.
Now a novel..how to write them?
First check the interest and taste of reader's category you wish to focalize. Focus on one, contoh novel remaja. Of course commingle with'em'd be the damn best solution.
The first move, pick a subject.
Nak buat citer apa..cinta? misteri? War aftermath?
What U need is appeal to the classification of reader you defined. For writing actually is communicating. You transmit your ideas, thoughts and views and the readers receive. Even thou the respondent considered passive. But there'd be multiple reactions and provide time-lag, reaksi itu akan anda terima kemudian. And sure it worth all the enormous time that U've sacrificed!
Trouble getting started? Tu biasa..
As for me I love commencing from the middle of the storyline..then keep flashing back to get to the subject. Somehow for the beginners, arranging the plot chronologically is more advisable to avoid complication of writer's block.
Jumpa lg..tapi ingat, penstrukturan..yg mana merangkumi tema, perwatakan, latar, teknik penyampaian atau writer's style..semua kena cukup
Adios!
Now I'm sambungin..wanna make new entry but..afraid whole idea jd topsy turvy n catastrophic so here it goes..
Kesalahan nahu.
B4 submitting your master piece - ha ha- edit ur writing khas 2 check on grammatical inconsistencies, kira nahu errorlaa 2.
Some authors ske sgt main anta whilst the correction..? leave it 2 the editor,
"Hey..they are paid 4 the job so why kisah. Important thg my idea gonna make money 4 d company, I'm a star." fuuh gila laaH!
As U know the editor alwyz being stuffed with few manuscripts, bukan you sorang punyer jerr.. Sometimes more than that. What d'U expect? The company kne kejar dateline apatah lg com. yg mmg menerbitkan specific number of books 4 specific time, troklah editor..they're human too and human errs.. So try to review d error, analyze'em so that in future U won't repeat the same kebendulan. jadi lebih pandai.. Kalau bley tandakan merah so that u can skim thru them repeatedly..now adios again - kte jumpa lg[kalau nk jumpa!] we'll discuss 'bout plotting plakk..Not interested..? x per..I'll still do it!
Today 9 April..feel like continuing. Who knows, kot ad yg mampu menyerap psiko I.
so..heres some basic pattern yg common for novel writing. Pd I pattern tu sinonim plot jugalaa. Hope my doctrine is correct. ha ha
Let's forget the complicated pattern n centralize on chronological one. After all, whole idea is meant for wannabes.
Arrange citer you in proper order so that you'll give the reader the exact sequence. Hubungkait step by step by providing logical connection within plot. For intance, when discussing about certain bahan, lagi efektif if you and ur reader sama2 trace from the beginning contoh punca terjadi, then sepanjang the occurrence or the kejadian then, aftermath., implication and consequences.Giving the accounts of the whole events from d start, the developement and finally the consequences of the incident. The emphasis tentu lbey byk on d cerita development kerana itu yg nk dinovelkan. Kerana skrg penerbit hanya sanggup menerima minimum pages 500 m/surat, better if you don't elongate too much on the cause that generates the event. That'd limit the space for intipati cerita. Melengahkan klimaks dan membosankan pembaca yg memang nak tau cerita dgn cepat. Tol tak? Then the aftermath..make it firm but don't prolong, buat secara yg sungguh mengesankan..Well cubalah!
Maybe lain penulis lain cara..tp this is Haiza's trend..Kalau I buat citer sdey..I review dan bygkn I org lain, kalau susah nk kuar air mata, mmg sah tu citer batu[no sentiment], delete jerr or reedit and reedit. Klu U berhasil menumpahkan air mata sendiri, that's it - U daa berjaya. Tp tak taulah klu memang jenis cembeng sokmo then of course this methode scarcely could b applied. Hmm... Adios again..
JOM SAMBUNG....!!!! 24th April 2010
Before submitting ur work to any publisher, might it b in hard copy or just thru emailing, I'd advice you again to b cautious of dis complicated task for any editor. Grammatical mistakes amat membosankan editor because this 'shouldn't b happening matter' would only prolong the editing process when there're a lot of other things that must b prioritized, this school job's task is very tiring. Ask any editor. So dun take thing for granted! Kejam tu..
So sift thru you work several times, take any amount of time you need , nobody is forcing you a dateline if you commence on d project b4 schedule.
There's a method here if you are keen on following, psychoanalyze what type of errors you alwez trapped urself into, next time you'll b alerted not to repeat them. Alah bisa tegal biasa. Cayeelaa
Macam I sendiri, I selalu trtulis sayang sbgi sayagn, yang sbg yagn dan diplomatik I tertulis dogmatik - so mula2 I cr benda2 ney dulu dan repair. Then br yg lain pulakk. Tu maknanya mengenalpasti kelemahan lazim kita..Got that..? Sbnarnya byk tp 'you fikirlah sendiri'
I bg contoh sedikit and the rest..you do it. So do the sifting a number of time before turrning over ur master piece..
I wanna discuss about plotting some more since they're more important to some novelist rather than d storyline itself but I've to go now..so see U next time klu berminat..
Oops.. lupa plakk.. nahu ney sgt penting dlm tiap conversation in any novel.
I pernah terbaca..kritikan K.Wynn di mana seorg novelis created a chapter di mana seorg profesional sedang berbual dgn respondennya by employing kata-kata yg langsung tak sesuai dgn kriteria si pewatak yg diuarkan sebagai seorang profesional.
So plez take note of this simple mistake..
Friday, February 26, 2010
Murder/Homicide! God..my own friend, an old buddy was the victim...?
Since the crack of dawn to sunrise, I was at a loss of what to do. really no specific agenda for d whole day. Total zilch!!! So..I jest sat down crippled and glanced out the window mused, thinking and reflecting hard. The cause..yeahh, old buddy Ganasegaran!
Last nite this old friend Ganasegaran who's now an owner of a law firm rang me up. Somehow I did enjoy chatting with him 'bout our olden schooldays. Sweet..sweet memories and bak kata Gana 'those were the days - unforgettable days..happy innocent years'
He's doing pretty well and now driving a chevrolet as one of his automobile. Aku mmg sgt baik dgn dia dulu. Bler putus cinta, diluahkannya rasa kecewa menunggengnya pd aku..ha ha..no offense eh Gana..?
Another quite close friend Abtar Singh, alwez handsome with or without his turban [do I spell it right?] mengejutkan aku when Gana broke the news that he died of fatal injury in car accident. Terkasima aku! Pergi sudah rupanya dia...!
And amid bicara, Gana delivered another shocking news 'bout a violent death of a very close friend of mine name Shinto Kaur - Was a sad and distressing story to ponder for she was murdered by her own hubby who was a doctor, can you imagine? The nasty part was, according to rumors the hubby was having an affair with their maid. Not sure whether dia filipino or an Indon. Eiiya..truly made me sick!
Know something?
Me, Shinto Kaur and Ah Yoke during school years were known as muhibbah trio. We were very close . Aargh..alangkah sedehnya cerita ney..victimized and prosecuted by own husband!
Few days ago K.Wynn emailed me not to be harsh on Hema for she's inexorably this 'dependent on husband' type of wife. kata K.Wynn tak kiralah suami dia seorang keparat. Sorrylerr K.Wynn for blocking the anonymous commentory. So U x dpt masuk and had to email me instead. I already let in the anonymous comment semula because of you. The other day, one dumb idiot slot in sampah stuff in the comment section tu sebab I trpksa blok.
I'll grant ur wish and'll call Hemlatha shortly after this. I pray her husband taklah sampai perform the same evil doing to her. He got that bitching temper kecually ngan his illegitimate wife and kids. Benci btol aku!
Manalah anak2 dia nak mengadu nanti..Argh.. I almost reduced to tears already.
Now thinking back 'bout cerita Gana sent tremors to my trembled spine. Make me chilled with unknown fears. I'm worry. More worried than I dare to admit.
What with all these people nowadays? Are they running out of rationale and conscientiousness? Can't they reason with their own evil sentiment and those bad element in their intoxicated inebriated head? Tak ada agama ke? Or religion's jest another scrap of culture to them? God help me...!
Duhai ibu bapa,,tak kira bangsa dan agama..didiklah anak2 agar berakhlak mulia, patuh pd agama dan etika kehidupan. Dan buat Muslim dan Muslimat, didik anak2 sedari kecil dengan solat yg difahami maknanya. Biar solat itu jadi benteng memelihara elemen insaniah dan prikemanusiaan dalam diri mereka..Contohilah bapa mithali Luqman Hakim yg sentiasa menasihati anak2nya.. Amin!
Oh Tuhan..aku sendiri tak tau bagaimana hendak mendoakan roh kawan baikku Shinto Kaur. Engkau sajalah Yang Maha Tahu.. Engkau yg memiliki ilmu yang tiada permulaan dan tiada pengakhirannya. Maha Suci Engkau ya ALLAH Azza Wajalla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dari Haiza Najwa
Last nite this old friend Ganasegaran who's now an owner of a law firm rang me up. Somehow I did enjoy chatting with him 'bout our olden schooldays. Sweet..sweet memories and bak kata Gana 'those were the days - unforgettable days..happy innocent years'
He's doing pretty well and now driving a chevrolet as one of his automobile. Aku mmg sgt baik dgn dia dulu. Bler putus cinta, diluahkannya rasa kecewa menunggengnya pd aku..ha ha..no offense eh Gana..?
Another quite close friend Abtar Singh, alwez handsome with or without his turban [do I spell it right?] mengejutkan aku when Gana broke the news that he died of fatal injury in car accident. Terkasima aku! Pergi sudah rupanya dia...!
And amid bicara, Gana delivered another shocking news 'bout a violent death of a very close friend of mine name Shinto Kaur - Was a sad and distressing story to ponder for she was murdered by her own hubby who was a doctor, can you imagine? The nasty part was, according to rumors the hubby was having an affair with their maid. Not sure whether dia filipino or an Indon. Eiiya..truly made me sick!
Know something?
Me, Shinto Kaur and Ah Yoke during school years were known as muhibbah trio. We were very close . Aargh..alangkah sedehnya cerita ney..victimized and prosecuted by own husband!
Few days ago K.Wynn emailed me not to be harsh on Hema for she's inexorably this 'dependent on husband' type of wife. kata K.Wynn tak kiralah suami dia seorang keparat. Sorrylerr K.Wynn for blocking the anonymous commentory. So U x dpt masuk and had to email me instead. I already let in the anonymous comment semula because of you. The other day, one dumb idiot slot in sampah stuff in the comment section tu sebab I trpksa blok.
I'll grant ur wish and'll call Hemlatha shortly after this. I pray her husband taklah sampai perform the same evil doing to her. He got that bitching temper kecually ngan his illegitimate wife and kids. Benci btol aku!
Manalah anak2 dia nak mengadu nanti..Argh.. I almost reduced to tears already.
Now thinking back 'bout cerita Gana sent tremors to my trembled spine. Make me chilled with unknown fears. I'm worry. More worried than I dare to admit.
What with all these people nowadays? Are they running out of rationale and conscientiousness? Can't they reason with their own evil sentiment and those bad element in their intoxicated inebriated head? Tak ada agama ke? Or religion's jest another scrap of culture to them? God help me...!
Duhai ibu bapa,,tak kira bangsa dan agama..didiklah anak2 agar berakhlak mulia, patuh pd agama dan etika kehidupan. Dan buat Muslim dan Muslimat, didik anak2 sedari kecil dengan solat yg difahami maknanya. Biar solat itu jadi benteng memelihara elemen insaniah dan prikemanusiaan dalam diri mereka..Contohilah bapa mithali Luqman Hakim yg sentiasa menasihati anak2nya.. Amin!
Oh Tuhan..aku sendiri tak tau bagaimana hendak mendoakan roh kawan baikku Shinto Kaur. Engkau sajalah Yang Maha Tahu.. Engkau yg memiliki ilmu yang tiada permulaan dan tiada pengakhirannya. Maha Suci Engkau ya ALLAH Azza Wajalla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dari Haiza Najwa
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