Saturday, May 22, 2010

ILUSI HATI novel KE 9 - BUKU KE 10

Sebuah cinta yg bermula di alam koma di mana Joshua dan Jasmine saling berhubungan setelah ke 2nya terbabit dalam nahas kemalangan yang sama. Sesudah sedar mereka terus bertelepati bahkan terus berhubungan melalui mimpi.  Masing-masing cuba merealisasikan ikrar utk bertemu seandainya sedar.[Kerana tika koma ke 2nya pernah beristikrar utk bertemu di resort Tioman.  Tmpt trsebut ada nostalgia buat Jasmine bersama arwah ayah angkatnya Firdaus]
  Ya mereka bertemu, tp  tanpa menyedari kehadiran masing-masing.  Weirdkan? Gitu juga dengan psaan, masing2 terasa getaran hati masing2 tiap kali kebetulan ada berdekatan, namun mereka gagal menelusuri intuisi sendiri bhw pertemuan mereka sudahpun terlestari tanpa mereka sedari. Alangkah sedih pabila  cinta terhalang  oleh watak oportunis iaitu Marlia yang sanggup berlakon dan mendakwa bahawa  dialah sebenarnya yang bertelepati dengan Joshua bukannya Jasmine.  Walhal Jasmine telah banyak menabur budi padanya.  Gitulah kaum Hawa, sanggup menodai persahabatan demi seorang Adam yg dicintai.  The rest I will leave to you viewers. Find the novel in d nearest book store selg ada.   Sebelum kehabisan. Bye for now sayang-sayangku.  Salamz. {Jangan terkeliru pula bler mndpti Jasmine di btkan Abdullah kern Firdaus hanyalah ayah angkat padanya]
REALLY WISH I  COULD CHANGE THE HEADING UP THERE, SO OUT OF DATE ALREADY BUT THAT'S BEBY'S WORK N DONT WANNA HURT HER. SHE EXCRUCIATED HERSELF TREMENDOUSLY FOR THAT PURPOSE..eeiiya..terhutang budi susah lhorr..

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Again for wannabes, little more tips to get started

If U bump into a person who bought ur piece, then wat's d very 1st remark U'll hear?  Aha..stereotypically, the person'd enunciate, 'Hey..I wanna b a writer 2.  But how ah..?"
Then stereotypically, U too'd be vocalizing  dis very   same conventional answer.
"U jest write lorr..then after  completing 3 or 400 pages U jest send laa  to any publisher U wish, if good, dey'll sure respond 2 U."  Then come this prompt reply from the same respondent, , "Eiiya..I tak reti menulis!"

What the h.. 
We practice and  do that every now and then man!
How'bout assignments? Letters?  Or note[berjela]  to your supreme asking for a day or two off?  Then these nauseating love-letters that can turn one's stomach?  Or composing essays or compositions  for your offsprings when actually the tasks were  supposed to be their intense jobs?  Any editorial intentionally created for intended respondent  is called writing.  Only the material that U write counts!Well..?
Now writing a novel..
Believe me, it's a usual thing.  The beza is nak ker tak nak.  As for me, one or two karya a year or perhaps one really, is the  amplest.
Now a novel..how to write them?
First check the interest and taste of reader's category  you wish to focalize.  Focus on one, contoh novel remaja.  Of course commingle with'em'd be the damn best solution.
The first move, pick a subject.
Nak buat citer apa..cinta? misteri? War aftermath?
What U need is appeal to the classification of reader you defined.  For writing actually is communicating.  You transmit your ideas, thoughts and views and the readers receive.  Even thou the respondent considered passive.  But there'd be multiple reactions and provide time-lag, reaksi itu akan anda terima kemudian.  And sure it worth all the enormous  time that U've sacrificed!
Trouble getting started?  Tu biasa..
As for me I love commencing  from the middle of the storyline..then keep flashing back to get to the subject.  Somehow for the beginners, arranging the plot chronologically is more advisable to avoid complication of writer's block.
Jumpa lg..tapi ingat, penstrukturan..yg mana merangkumi tema, perwatakan, latar, teknik penyampaian atau writer's style..semua kena cukup
Adios!

Now I'm sambungin..wanna make new entry but..afraid whole idea jd  topsy turvy n catastrophic so here it goes..

Kesalahan nahu.
B4 submitting your master piece - ha ha- edit ur writing khas 2 check on grammatical inconsistencies, kira nahu errorlaa 2.
Some authors ske sgt main anta whilst the correction..?  leave it 2 the editor,
 "Hey..they are paid 4 the job so why kisah.  Important thg  my idea gonna make money 4 d company, I'm a star."  fuuh gila laaH!

As U know the editor alwyz  being stuffed with few manuscripts, bukan you sorang punyer jerr..  Sometimes more than that.  What d'U expect?  The company kne kejar dateline apatah lg com. yg mmg menerbitkan specific number of books 4 specific time, troklah editor..they're human too and human errs..  So try to review d error, analyze'em so that in future U won't repeat the same kebendulan.  jadi lebih pandai.. Kalau bley tandakan merah so that u can skim thru  them repeatedly..now adios again - kte jumpa lg[kalau nk jumpa!] we'll discuss 'bout plotting plakk..Not interested..? x per..I'll still do it!

Today 9 April..feel like continuing.  Who knows, kot ad yg mampu menyerap psiko I.
so..heres some basic pattern yg common for novel writing.  Pd I pattern tu sinonim plot jugalaa. Hope my doctrine is correct. ha ha
Let's forget the complicated pattern n centralize on chronological one.  After all, whole idea is meant for wannabes.
Arrange citer you in proper order so that you'll give the reader the exact sequence. Hubungkait step by step by providing  logical  connection within plot.  For intance, when discussing about certain bahan, lagi efektif if you and ur reader sama2 trace from the beginning contoh punca terjadi, then  sepanjang the occurrence or the kejadian then, aftermath., implication and consequences.Giving  the accounts of the whole  events from d start,  the developement and finally the consequences of the incident.  The emphasis tentu lbey byk on d  cerita development kerana itu  yg nk dinovelkan.  Kerana skrg penerbit hanya sanggup menerima minimum pages 500 m/surat, better if you don't elongate too much on the cause that generates the event.  That'd limit the space for intipati cerita.  Melengahkan klimaks dan membosankan pembaca yg memang nak tau cerita dgn cepat. Tol tak?  Then the aftermath..make it firm but don't prolong, buat secara yg sungguh mengesankan..Well cubalah! 
Maybe lain penulis lain cara..tp this is Haiza's trend..Kalau I buat citer sdey..I review dan bygkn I org lain, kalau susah nk kuar air mata, mmg sah tu citer batu[no sentiment], delete jerr or reedit and reedit.   Klu U berhasil menumpahkan air  mata sendiri, that's it - U daa berjaya.  Tp tak taulah klu memang jenis cembeng  sokmo then of course this methode scarcely could b applied.  Hmm... Adios again..

JOM SAMBUNG....!!!!    24th April 2010
Before submitting ur work to any publisher, might it b in hard copy or just thru emailing, I'd advice you again to b cautious of dis complicated task for any editor. Grammatical mistakes amat membosankan editor because this 'shouldn't b happening matter' would only prolong the editing process when there're a lot of other things that must b prioritized, this school job's task is very tiring. Ask any editor. So dun take thing for granted! Kejam tu..




So sift thru you work several times, take any amount of time you need , nobody is forcing you a dateline if you commence on d project b4 schedule.



There's a method here if you are keen on following, psychoanalyze what type of errors you alwez trapped urself into, next time you'll b alerted not to repeat them. Alah bisa tegal biasa. Cayeelaa



Macam I sendiri, I selalu trtulis sayang sbgi sayagn, yang sbg yagn dan diplomatik I tertulis dogmatik - so mula2 I cr benda2 ney dulu dan repair. Then br yg lain pulakk. Tu maknanya mengenalpasti kelemahan lazim kita..Got that..? Sbnarnya byk tp 'you fikirlah sendiri'



I bg contoh sedikit and the rest..you do it. So do the sifting a number of time before turrning over ur master piece..



I wanna discuss about plotting some more since they're more important to some novelist rather than d storyline itself but I've to go now..so see U next time klu berminat..



Oops.. lupa plakk.. nahu ney sgt penting dlm tiap conversation in any novel.



I pernah terbaca..kritikan K.Wynn di mana seorg novelis created a chapter di mana seorg profesional sedang berbual dgn respondennya by employing kata-kata yg langsung tak sesuai dgn kriteria si pewatak yg diuarkan sebagai seorang profesional.



So plez take note of this simple mistake..

Friday, February 26, 2010

Murder/Homicide! God..my own friend, an old buddy was the victim...?

Since the crack of dawn to sunrise, I was at a loss of what to do.  really no specific agenda for d whole day.  Total zilch!!!  So..I jest sat down crippled and glanced out the window mused, thinking and reflecting hard. The cause..yeahh, old buddy Ganasegaran!
Last nite this old friend Ganasegaran  who's now an owner of a law firm rang me up. Somehow I did enjoy chatting with him 'bout our olden  schooldays.  Sweet..sweet memories and bak kata Gana 'those were the days - unforgettable days..happy innocent years'
He's doing pretty well and  now driving a chevrolet as one of his automobile.  Aku mmg sgt baik dgn dia dulu. Bler putus cinta, diluahkannya rasa kecewa menunggengnya pd aku..ha ha..no offense eh Gana..?
Another quite close  friend Abtar Singh, alwez handsome with or without his turban [do I spell it right?] mengejutkan aku when Gana broke the news that he died of fatal injury  in car accident.  Terkasima aku! Pergi sudah rupanya dia...!

And amid bicara, Gana delivered another shocking news 'bout a violent death of a very close friend of mine name Shinto Kaur - Was a sad and distressing story to ponder for she was murdered by her own hubby who was a doctor, can you imagine?  The nasty part was, according to rumors the hubby was having an affair with their maid.  Not sure whether dia  filipino or an Indon. Eiiya..truly made me sick!
Know something?
Me, Shinto Kaur and Ah Yoke during school years were known as muhibbah trio.  We were very close  .  Aargh..alangkah sedehnya cerita ney..victimized and prosecuted  by own husband!

Few days ago K.Wynn emailed me not to be harsh on Hema for she's inexorably this 'dependent on husband' type of wife. kata K.Wynn tak kiralah suami dia seorang keparat.  Sorrylerr K.Wynn for blocking the anonymous commentory. So U x dpt masuk and had to email me instead. I already let in the anonymous comment semula because of you. The other day, one dumb idiot slot in sampah stuff in the comment section tu sebab I trpksa blok.
I'll grant ur wish and'll call Hemlatha shortly after this.  I pray her husband taklah sampai perform the same evil doing to her. He got that bitching temper kecually ngan his  illegitimate wife and kids.  Benci btol aku!
Manalah anak2 dia nak mengadu nanti..Argh.. I almost reduced to tears already. 
Now thinking back 'bout cerita Gana sent tremors to my trembled spine.  Make me chilled with unknown fears.  I'm worry.  More worried than I dare to admit.
What with all these people nowadays?  Are they running out of rationale and conscientiousness? Can't they reason with their own evil sentiment and those bad element in their intoxicated inebriated  head? Tak ada agama ke? Or religion's jest another scrap of culture to them?  God help me...!

Duhai ibu bapa,,tak kira bangsa dan agama..didiklah anak2 agar berakhlak mulia, patuh pd agama dan etika kehidupan.  Dan buat Muslim dan Muslimat, didik anak2 sedari kecil dengan solat yg difahami maknanya.  Biar solat itu jadi benteng memelihara elemen insaniah dan prikemanusiaan dalam diri mereka..Contohilah bapa mithali Luqman Hakim yg sentiasa menasihati anak2nya..  Amin!

Oh Tuhan..aku sendiri tak tau bagaimana hendak mendoakan roh kawan baikku Shinto Kaur.  Engkau sajalah Yang  Maha Tahu.. Engkau yg memiliki ilmu yang tiada permulaan dan tiada pengakhirannya.  Maha Suci Engkau ya ALLAH Azza Wajalla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dari Haiza Najwa

Saturday, January 30, 2010

HEMLATHA - Devoted, devout or plain idiotic?



A query –
Is this a rarity or just another excruciating reality which is gradually happenin’ in today’s scenario? Now.. listen -  and see what we can mess ourselves into…



The name  is Hemlatha.
Just another friend. Even thou I can’t somewhat recollect when we launched our debut tete a tete. But she's this sort of  a lady who get panick stricken easily and whenever such situation crops up, she’d call me and subsequently, we managed ourselves to meet up somewhere. She had this  weird idea that a writer is one sort of badan kebajikan. Well.. it’s okay, really I don’t mind!



This Hema carried quite a heartrending story with her.

It’s a kinda story which made you feel sick or wanna puke many times n it concerned 'bout  the delinquency and d negligence of a person calling himself “a husband” but somehow, very deceptive, deceitful, irrational, unreasonable man who knew nothing of the gist of responsibility let alone to love and care for the wife who had sacrificed everything to the point of breeding his two deserted kids? He hardly spoke to them let alone kissed or hug the still hunger for love’s kids!

I called her Hema. And this woman not once being trodden and trampled by her useless, immoral and worthless good for nothing husband. Paradoxically she still call him husband thou’! Eiiya....makes me sick..



The last time we embarked our serious conversation, she poured everything which seemed to grow eternal- like to me. Oddly enough she seemed taken aback when I handed over few bucks to her cute ‘bout 4 to 5 years old grinning son. This cutie kept on patting my knee asking me to respond to his grinning face. Real cute. Know something..? I alwez ‘ve this funny feeling of compassion or adoration for Indian children, aha..wanna know why? Coz they remind me of my ‘Iman’ during her toddler’s years. She looked like one of them and will voluntarily grin and smile to anyone who come up to her. Till now, her cousins and nieces still ejek her Kamala Iman. Since Iman studied in English kindergarten she could hi hi and respond in English pasar to anyone who aproached her. Well ..enough of the nostalgia. Now back to Hema..



“Say thank U to aunty! Kak, dia tak pernah pegang duit kak. Saya tak ada duit dan husband tak pernah kasi anak duit.” said her to what at first I assumed as  total joke. Later, I was shocked to my stomach!

He’s a real cute boy. Fair skins. Perhaps they’re Malayalam. She did bring her daughter along with her, but that tiny one just ain’t capable of parting from her mom’s lap. Three year’s old and yet, so tiny. The spectacle slightly infuriated me coz, I did keep hoping for my turn to cuddle her too. Ha ha



After about an hour of rattling then she started pouring this hard to believe but true story. At first I was in awe but then, sympathy got through me after seeing her pushing away her tears compulsively. A distressing story about a hubby who don’t give a shit about his wife or his children. In fact beat them unnecessarily each time he got mad over something.

Out of breath I asked her, he.. he surely got reason? Then came this bleeding shit..

Said Hema, few years ago this ‘man?’ brought his illegitimate wife to live with them. Along with their illegal ‘one daughter and two sons’. This ignorant conceited woman only few years younger than Hema herself who’s about thirty.

“Kak, lepas dia datang, he never visited my room. Never patted the kids, never even talked to them nicely just scorns and scoldings now and then. He only sleep with her during these years and always brag to me how better she is compared to me.”

“Proceed!” said I who already choked.

“Then she got a job as amah in the hospital and left the three kids for me to tend. I banyak letih, semua kerja saya buat kak dan dia balik-balik tau marah saja. Dia action dengan saya. Saya hari2 masak banyak. Bila night time, hubby sudah makan dan mandi2 terus masuk bilik dia dan tak peduli saya. I felt so embarrassed and humiliated. She kinda show off that suami lebih sayang dia so dia berani marah2 saya walau pun depan husband dan anak-anak saya. Saya seeedih kaaak..” she gesticulated in sad tone.

Terlalu marah, saya tak tau nak cakap apa .



“Akaak..”geleng lagi stail Indian. “He said I’m stupid. N that  I don't  know how to cook his favourite meal and don’t know how to amuse him in bed..”

Aku ternganga dengar dia cakap cam tu. WHOT THE HELLLL..

Damm..! It was just another snitch from the bloody irresponsible devious man who misinterpreted the exact meaning of the sacred word ‘husband’ but still, dared to label himself as husband whilst not really eligible or entitled to marry any perempuan even a whore sekalipun for his lack of conscientiousness. Well after all, a husband ‘such as him ‘alwez free to create tale after tale. Alasan after alasan’ Might it be right or not, he couldn’t care less, as long as he got to do what he desired d most.

Then she continued with a more shocking sequel. She confessed how her husband never bother to hide his habit of snuggling into that worthless perempuan’s blanket with the door partially and slightly released so that she, Hema could witness the horrid spectacle of him depicting his karmasutra’s skill and other performance on the bed. My.. my.. of all the shameless, barefaced, blatant, unashamed couple! Why couldn’t they just go over to the filthy public toilet and copulated there, then that would be better for blank- headed morons like them! Suit them perfectly!

I cajoled her to stop wheeping, instead put her chin up and “try to stand on your own feet. Get a job somewhere and support yourself and your two kids without having to wait for that man’s stinking bucks. He’s a hopeless brat to rely your whole life for. For heaven sake stop dreaming! For you’ll be deluded even more. Dengar tak Hema?”

Then she wept even harder,

“Tak boleh kaak..” sekali lagi geleng. ”Saya sayang dia banyak. I want him to change, want him to love me back.”

Apa lagi, aku retorted back in anger, “how can he simply love you when he got another one with better arse than you! That was very mean of me. Aku dah mabuk marah. Cakap pun dah sedikit vulgar, but I just couldn’t control my fury. Such a meek behaviour. Meek, meek, meek, meek! She really surrendered herself to be a loser! Too hopelessly devoted to a dumb idiot.



I asked her.

“How old actually are you?”

“Dekat tiga puluh kaaak..” sambil geleng kepala.

“Go find a job and sara yourself. You only have two kids. That makes thing lot easier. If you haven’t the nerve or guts to kill him than, leave him instantly!” Dia buntangkan mata.

“I tak boleh tinggal dia. I sgt sayang dia.”

See? I almost puked hearing those words. How about you, viewers. Menyampah tak?



“Kak tak tau..saya ada anak dua! Susah nak buat apa-apa.”



“Hell I do. When my husband died, he left me with five kids, one in private IPT and another three facing prime exams. Two got through with straight A’s and imagine how much money I have to spare for their education wise and physiology needs? Then another one furthered her studies in the IPTA. As you know, PT is only adequate for their books and fees. And the youngest, still can’t get over the father’s death. There’s this uncountable time I had to witness her comatose on wet soaked mattress for crying her heart out missing her beloved dad.. Next morning only to gaze at those puffy eyes while swallowing my own unending tears. Every nite . Not a single nite missing Hema. How can a mother endured such scene that went on and on for years? Could you? But I’ve to be tough for her. And so do you. For the sake of your two beautiful kids. Don’t give a damn shit about yourself. Not a shit, remember? It’s ur kids should be given priorities to.”



Stunned, she was quiet for few seconds as if swallowing every words or the ‘sad’ story part.. And then when she unwrapped her mouth to continue I ‘Wi Max potong’ her,

“Let me send you back.” almost a command. Ponek dongar. She did obey without hesitant.

For weeks I didn’t hear from her. Then one afternoon she rang me up again.

“Kak bley jumpa?” We set another meeting port.



Till now I still can’t believe thing that she begged and begged me to do for her.

“Bawaklah saya jumpa bomoh kak. Saya nak suami saya sayang saya balik. Sampai sekarang dia tak mau masuk bilik saya.” I stared at her in awe.

“Other than that? Did he hurt your kids?”

To my astonishment she nodded. “And you? Did he penampar or penendang or sepak terajang you too?” again nodded. [What kind of a man she wants to sleep with? Help me God!]

“He hurt your kids, bagi you penampar and you desperately want to see this bomoh for the alasan that he denied any scene on bed with you. Is that it dear Hema?” I spoke so slow not to evoke my own anger.



My kepantangan utama ialah bomoh. To die dlm keadaan syirik paling menggerunkan aku. Simpang dek malaikat 44. Nanti kubur tolak balik body keluar. Mayat terbang sana sini dan orang ingat langsu…. Eii..



“So this bomoh can mend your marriage lah?” really infuriated but still manage to speak modestly to her. My nature anyway. After all that’s the way to speak to mollywood yg sedang mabuk cinta dgn hubby dia. ..Come on everybody, let’s yakk again! This time muntah hijau.

After a serious thinking then I conclude,

“Well then Hema, there’s this bomoh in town. He may be able to solve case like yours just like that. In a split second everything’ll be back to it’s normal self. In a blink of an eye, I promise you.”

“Ya ke kaaak..Saya sangat senang hati.” she really geleng beautifully this time.

And beamed with such pleasure on hearing this splendid news.. Her critical problem gonna be solved in a minute. Yeahh..way to go!



“Kat mana kak rumah bomoh tu kaak? Sapa nama dia?”



“Ohh..ramai, salah sorang ASP Norman. Lagi besar pun ada. Bomoh konstabel pun bersepah.”

“Haah..? Kat mana tu?”

“Balai polis. Jumpa dia orang dan lodge report about your husband’s wrongdoings, particularly to your kids. Consequently the court will decide your rights.”

What..?? She really nganga.



Lepas tu lama aku tak dengar cerita dia. Should she call me up  again, my answer will be the same. So no point of seeing me or me seeing her. Nanti aku muntah hijau lagi dengar cerita laki dia tak nak masuk bilik dia. Anak lebam-lebam pun tak apa as long as the hus’banned’ embraced her. What a real anecdote it was. Sakitnya hati aku.. laki macam tu dibunuh lagi baik. Suka plak tunjuk wayang free ngan orang lain kat bini sendiri.

Now another story.. lagi best..

An Indian policewoman, another friend. Rang me. Tak nak bg tau nama. Kalau she views this blog abes aku. She wanted to pinjam money. Not much she said, just 500 bucks. Yeah right..not much..

You know what I told her..?

“You’re a policewoman and seems to me, you’re the exact person to ask for help. You go meet this boy in uniform ..[I gave her the name and address of the boy’s mertua, dekat deretan kedai di Batu Kikir.], asked from him my bucks that he still owing me. After two years he only paid me $1150 than vanished with the remainder $1950.00. That’s the address of his mertua. If U managed to get the money we split into half, you setengah dan I setengah. No need to pay back. Prove your credibility.” Till now never heard of her again Neither that boy.. Que sera..sera..it’s jest money anyway. Not much somehow... But friend such as that..? Just condone. Plenty more coming!

[Sigh…]

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I receive a call from friends, wanting to see me badly. Many many years tak jumpa. Old friends. But I don’t really wanna talk ‘bout hims and hers. That’s too ‘biasa’. But this particular chap almost my age gave remark about my appearance which was kononnya sangat-sangat serious [perhaps what he really wanna say was that I looked grim or dismal..or ..gloomy? was the better word] Then again he commented that I only talked sepatah-sepatah. Such subdued personality..Like someone’s enmeshed in quandary.{Eii..Was he really in desperate need of altercation..??? Dah tak sayang nyawa?] Out of intuition, I retorted back if what he meant having menantu had changed me, was that it? And yes, ‘that’ – really made him chuckled non stop. Privately, that was the issue in his head. Baloney. Yeah..he might have vieved my blog . Well.. some people assumed having menantu is a pain in the neck. But how to feel pain when Ur not even under the same roof with your menantu? What an anecdote totally it was !


I’ll survive the ordeal if the ordeal refers to suffering or torment because none of ‘em was virtually what I went through. The tenets that menantu and in law can’t get along is extraneous now. Issue yg dah on the periphery lah! Correct?

And one little lady asked me why I paste an empty bridal dais in my blog? Ha ha ha ha! No that I’m drained of snapshot but the bridal suite was so beautifully designed by a friend named FAEZAH of N Andaman and my way of showing gratitude and gratefulness is by forwarding to everyone’s view of her fastidious effort and perhaps after this she’ll be showered with unlimited response and I’m sure glad if I became one of the stimulus that fuelled to her business affluence.

Hmm.. pasal muka serius? – Well this grave look ada touching menouching dengan rasa bosan menulis yg tak abes-abes. That is sobering enough! Tak tau nak buat apa, just biding my time tearing the roads sana sini looking for inspirations which rather scarce nowadays and quite a rarity to my fatigued exhausted brain which once upon a time dulu, always overflowed with ideas. Ermm...somehow hati ini still relentlessly yearning to maintain the aura of a writer who never drained of stimulation . Now and then... spot scant way to battle against this negative me! And this, surely is hampering and thwarting any effort to conclude all my ‘halfly done’ manuscript. Tak sampai half pun actually..Ermm.. a real terrifying prospect….Ada dua tiga..tergendala. Make me asphyxiated of distraught n geram.. Huh..sampai bila gaknyer eh..




 am I that grim. depressed?? Just watch me smiling from ear to ear. Scared ha you? Ha ha, I’m a contented mother of 5 also, an okay mother in law, mind you! Somehow.. Undeniably a miserable writer..sob..sob

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Precious health

Wearing jeans n sweater, one morning I started back my long forgotten practice [If U can call the leisurely walking as jogging]. Finally put myself at the mercy of one iltizam to compose myself back as the usual me. For many many many moons ago, aku mcm nilah. Jogging sambil berangan. Joging sangat takde ler. Ayun langkah, grasp few ideas then balek. Half way back, bought sarapan for me n mum, then smuggle into my room and start knocking giler-giler on the keyboard trying to conclude whatever story yg tergantung.
But that was then. And that sort f practice seems so faraway back in the past
The stimulus that set off back this habit was, 2 days ago, I visited my bro’s place and he shot me with warm query, dah start menulis lom?. I shook my head. “Masih malas!” was my straightforward answer.
But yester morning, as early as the predawn rays, teragak to stimulate the old routine. So there was I, at the hilly track, sluggishly walking like the old nanny. Miserable all of a sudden, at the sign of dark cloud, subsequently followed by slight drizzle.
Aaargh ..never mind, kataku dengan hati cekal. Hujan adalah rahmat dari ALLAH.
So resolutely, I marched further and started mountaineering [ha ha] the ‘not so high’ hill. Tinggi sikit daripada busut jerr.

Far off at the corner, spotted sejoli who were on the same footpath. Except the fact that these two entities walked as if they had to move bit by bit the gigantic rock infront of them so that they could continue moving ahead. Slow giler!

As I brisk-walked past them [hopped to the opposite side] Apa kes.. ? To my awareness, noticed the girl’s left hand sliding initially circling the waist but slowly and subsequently pop.. into the guy’s pocket! What the he..?

Damn..damn.. damn..! At first I decided to back away, menyampah. But then, as my anger subsided.. a mischievous thought penetrated to my head.. ha ha ha..This culprit going to kena..Watch out for my tazkirah!

A bit in awe at first, but emphatically irritated at the manner they behaved, I preached them in a strangled voice..tak tau kenapa jadi gitu pulak, then said bravely,
“Adik berdua, we’re practically the same since we’re both Muslims. Don’t you feel ashamed doing what you just did?” Seriau semacam. Beraninya aku..!

“D belakang saya ada ibu bapa jogging ngan anak2, kalau dia ternampak kan tak elok? Mak bapak, fahamlah tapi anak-anak?”

”Wh..what d’u mean..” she asked in mumbled voice but the male stared straight into my eyes with disbelief.
“Akak ni orang Islam jadi tak salah kan kalau tegur benda tak elok?”
The girl face turned pale. .So did the man. [Muka nmpk matang sket. Entah2 laki orang]
“Meskipun akak cuma pakai preman dan bukan kat balai sekarang, tp tak salah kalau bagi nasihat kan.?” They nodded modestly.
“T..tak salah kak. Terima kaseh..tapi . “ the girl all of a sudden turned to her pair. “Tapi kami orang Thai dan bukan Muslim.” Kalau aku tak silap I saw the sun rose in that man’s face.
Maak.. I was monkeyly stunned [terkejut beruk]

Despite my desperate need to banish myself at that split second, I feigned a smile and joked a bit to control macho punya pasal.
“Ha ha..you caught me..sorilaa dik.” Bengangnya.

“Its alright, most people can barely distinguish between a Malay and Thailand people coz our feature are quite alike, don’t you think so?” I just nodded with bengang.

“Anyway behave yourself next time..Siamese pun tentu ada agama kan..? Mereka mengangguk dan berterima kasih lalu beredar dengan cepat.
Menyesal aku. Eii..bencinya dengan perangai aku yang kaki menyibuk ni..malunyerrrrr..Infact, kat mana-mana pun kalau aku tak suka sesuatu aku akan tegur directly and spontaneously. Nasib baik so far, belum kena maki. Tapi aku pernah tegur sorang tua jgn hisap rokok kerana mungkin ada yang berpenyakit lelah duduk berhampiran. He yelled back frantically, ”Eden pon lolah jugak!” Mak datuk, tau pun lelah, hisap jugak. Eiiii!

Well..back to the two Thais tadi,

As they walked past me, I heard the guy murmuring..
“Kena mengucap balik kalau tak you murtad..”it was the male’s voice.

Aku terkasima, speechless.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Let's go 2 IMAN's Graduation Ceremony - UITM's 71st convocation

22nd, THIS most popular gedung ilmu held it's grad. ceremony n it was 4 their learners who finally call a halt to their years of mugging and unremitting assignments. I witnessed flocks of parent congregated at the Dewan Sri Budiman. Swollen with pride... argh, saat bahagiakan..?





Fitrina took 2 days MC nk sme2 celebrate momen brsejarah adik dia. Tipikal akak sulongkan? Boboy yg eldest, terikat dgn tugas yg gabisa[pinjam dialek kang Dden kita he heh] d tunda, sent his melancholic wishes jer. Sayang, sayang jugak tp. tugas ttp prioriti.

Two chaps above were very remarkable students somehow, both parents gagal hadir kerna urusan yg gabisa d sanggah. Iman kte, jdlaa mk angkat momentarily utk dOrg so..I let'em enterfrm kat sini. Xpelaa..nampak pun mcm knk2 baik- ha ha

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Salam Lebaran fr me n the kids[ r dey still children.? Wonder..!]






























D original post ter'evicted' n banished nowhere 2 be found..so I copied this fr a little segment or rather, scrap..left by the memory lane side..






Unlike the typical blissful Raya as usual without their beloved dad around...besalaa.









But albeit the nonexistence f that particular element - the children did cope a boisterous n cheerful Raya.
Somewhat managed to yank out all the old nostalgic sentiment bla..bla..bla..

D weird side was..pra n pasca Raya ney..body anatomy aku, boboy dan iman already chasing most of the wardrobe content..fuuh sdeh.. aku daa lebih 60 kg..eldest son lbeh lg..Iman tmbh menggebu - Thanx to the selected chows of high calory foodstuffs yg kte org consumed sblom n lpas posa..menyesal - Ikut nafsu badan terus lesu..












Sunday, September 13, 2009

Haruskah aku berkarya lagi.. malasnyer..

Laziness is so overpowering. Tensed? Yup. Eldest son is getting married. Another son is far across the sea. Two daughters are maturing and never satisfy with their achievement n these 2 ears f mine aint capable of conceiving anything - anymore.
Tadi aku suka2 bkak MPH bestsellers dan ironinya, bertepatan hari ney 13hb, novel Kalimah Jiwa plak berada d carta ke 13. Kalau mat saleh daa menggigil takut..most of them are paranoid dgn angka 13!
Sometimes this chest starts promoting little pain. Very faint but..surely scaring. N headaches - it's a common cliche already. I heard a lot 'bout shock n it was so terrifying.
Eventhou shock may refer to few diff. condition but goodness knows.... what I mean is, 'that' serious condition - followed by sudden drop in blood pressure. Tol tak? Then this will be followed by harsh pain coz of d emotional strain. Konon kata, the plasma menerobos keluar dari dinding kapilari dan mendap ke tisu. Daa berpluh thun blaja psl 2, betul ke? Bende2 ni merendahkn tekanan darah . And the devoted heart f our's which try to overcome this by beating faster ends up with weakening heartbeat coz it does not receive ample blood. Kulit mula rasa sejuk and clammy, perspires tak henti2. Peparu dan ginjal fail to get rid of wastes properly. Dan bahan yg sepatutnya mengalami perkumuhan ni mula meracun. Hal ni dan lack of oxygen akan menyebabkan kematian tiba-tiba kalau X sempat d rawat.
Takutnya.. really scary and bloodcurdling. I won't force myself to write anymore coz writing won't be a commitment unless if you are really up to it. Tak semestinya when ur head is oveflowed wth ideas, semuanya mesti d terjemahkan k dlm bentuk mnskrp. Bley je simpan n publish them when you really set your heart 2 write. You have to enjoy writing 2 produce a good novel. I've done that with Sentuhan Cinta and I'm sure many appreciated d novel. Kalimah Jiwa d tlis kerna satu misi utk menyedarkn certain golongan dan Ku Mohon Kasih terluah kerna d satu kesempatan, I've witnessed few Kelantanese suffered greatly when their pasangan from other state left them in agony. Some were abandoned with one or three kids and left without a penny to survive. Sdehnya..ada yg merana sakit jiwa bler psgn hdup kembali k tempat asal to settle back with their first wife yg tak tau menau pun tntg prkhwnn bru hubby mereka yg plang dgn muka tak bersalah.
Hmm.. nantilah. Aku akan berkarya lagi..bila tiada tekanan. Menulis sambil menjiwai setiap plot yg terhasil dgn penuh komitmen dan kerelaan.. Supaya Moon trsyg tak pitam melihat manuskrp yg tunggang langgang..

Sunday, August 23, 2009

SOMETHING IS WRONG SOMEWHERE...Terribly wrong...amiss..

D's nothing more intimidating than when a novelist is hooked up wth this penyakit called malas menulis. And this feeling seems to be steadily rising [me]. Two month I quit clicking d microsoft word..n funny though I can't find even d slightest reason 4 such unconstructive attitude - why! Aduz..Have you ever wondered why few writers sometimes feels they're working in a vacuum in front f their PCs or laptops? Not writer's block as my sis Rosiah theorized. But just lazy.. merely lazy..And this teruk feeling that ur accomplishment go clunk..? How u wish to smack or spank any penulis who comes up and mutter with pride  the phrase like..'I tak boleh kalau tak menulis satu hari'. Bukan cemburukan dedikasi mereka..But just yearning to be among them.  To sideswipe this unenthusiastic and uncooperative 'inner you' is not easy.
Tiba-tiba..teringat pula yg aku ni berzodiak Gemini. Errmm.. ada harapan sembuh dari penykt neyh..
Born under this sign. is awesome since there are  two sides in every Gemini woman. Superficial or inconsistent. Sometimes may be lively and yet another part of us can be nervy. Unable to commit to anything constant n continuous. Tp boleh percaya ke..Ini bkn ramalan tp random search or survey  about the behaviour buat  mereka yg lahir dlm certain-certain month. Sebenarnya kurang baik  sikap begini I admit so ..kenalah  juga menongkah arus and try to place urself in d '5 percent' category. Bt at this specific moment..tunggu dululah..Cuba  belajar ubah sikap..