I receive a call from friends, wanting to see me badly. Many many years tak jumpa. Old friends. But I don’t really wanna talk ‘bout hims and hers. That’s too ‘biasa’. But this particular chap almost my age gave remark about my appearance which was kononnya sangat-sangat serious [perhaps what he really wanna say was that I looked grim or dismal..or ..gloomy? was the better word] Then again he commented that I only talked sepatah-sepatah. Such subdued personality..Like someone’s enmeshed in quandary.{Eii..Was he really in desperate need of altercation..??? Dah tak sayang nyawa?] Out of intuition, I retorted back if what he meant having menantu had changed me, was that it? And yes, ‘that’ – really made him chuckled non stop. Privately, that was the issue in his head. Baloney. Yeah..he might have vieved my blog . Well.. some people assumed having menantu is a pain in the neck. But how to feel pain when Ur not even under the same roof with your menantu? What an anecdote totally it was !


I’ll survive the ordeal if the ordeal refers to suffering or torment because none of ‘em was virtually what I went through. The tenets that menantu and in law can’t get along is extraneous now. Issue yg dah on the periphery lah! Correct?

And one little lady asked me why I paste an empty bridal dais in my blog? Ha ha ha ha! No that I’m drained of snapshot but the bridal suite was so beautifully designed by a friend named FAEZAH of N Andaman and my way of showing gratitude and gratefulness is by forwarding to everyone’s view of her fastidious effort and perhaps after this she’ll be showered with unlimited response and I’m sure glad if I became one of the stimulus that fuelled to her business affluence.

Hmm.. pasal muka serius? – Well this grave look ada touching menouching dengan rasa bosan menulis yg tak abes-abes. That is sobering enough! Tak tau nak buat apa, just biding my time tearing the roads sana sini looking for inspirations which rather scarce nowadays and quite a rarity to my fatigued exhausted brain which once upon a time dulu, always overflowed with ideas. Ermm...somehow hati ini still relentlessly yearning to maintain the aura of a writer who never drained of stimulation . Now and then... spot scant way to battle against this negative me! And this, surely is hampering and thwarting any effort to conclude all my ‘halfly done’ manuscript. Tak sampai half pun actually..Ermm.. a real terrifying prospect….Ada dua tiga..tergendala. Make me asphyxiated of distraught n geram.. Huh..sampai bila gaknyer eh..

 am I that grim. depressed?? Just watch me smiling from ear to ear. Scared ha you? Ha ha, I’m a contented mother of 5 also, an okay mother in law, mind you! Somehow.. Undeniably a miserable writer..sob..sob

Precious health

Wearing jeans n sweater, one morning I started back my long forgotten practice [If U can call the leisurely walking as jogging]. Finally put myself at the mercy of one iltizam to compose myself back as the usual me. For many many many moons ago, aku mcm nilah. Jogging sambil berangan. Joging sangat takde ler. Ayun langkah, grasp few ideas then balek. Half way back, bought sarapan for me n mum, then smuggle into my room and start knocking giler-giler on the keyboard trying to conclude whatever story yg tergantung.
But that was then. And that sort f practice seems so faraway back in the past
The stimulus that set off back this habit was, 2 days ago, I visited my bro’s place and he shot me with warm query, dah start menulis lom?. I shook my head. “Masih malas!” was my straightforward answer.
But yester morning, as early as the predawn rays, teragak to stimulate the old routine. So there was I, at the hilly track, sluggishly walking like the old nanny. Miserable all of a sudden, at the sign of dark cloud, subsequently followed by slight drizzle.
Aaargh ..never mind, kataku dengan hati cekal. Hujan adalah rahmat dari ALLAH.
So resolutely, I marched further and started mountaineering [ha ha] the ‘not so high’ hill. Tinggi sikit daripada busut jerr.

Far off at the corner, spotted sejoli who were on the same footpath. Except the fact that these two entities walked as if they had to move bit by bit the gigantic rock infront of them so that they could continue moving ahead. Slow giler!

As I brisk-walked past them [hopped to the opposite side] Apa kes.. ? To my awareness, noticed the girl’s left hand sliding initially circling the waist but slowly and subsequently pop.. into the guy’s pocket! What the he..?

Damn..damn.. damn..! At first I decided to back away, menyampah. But then, as my anger subsided.. a mischievous thought penetrated to my head.. ha ha ha..This culprit going to kena..Watch out for my tazkirah!

A bit in awe at first, but emphatically irritated at the manner they behaved, I preached them in a strangled voice..tak tau kenapa jadi gitu pulak, then said bravely,
“Adik berdua, we’re practically the same since we’re both Muslims. Don’t you feel ashamed doing what you just did?” Seriau semacam. Beraninya aku..!

“D belakang saya ada ibu bapa jogging ngan anak2, kalau dia ternampak kan tak elok? Mak bapak, fahamlah tapi anak-anak?”

”Wh..what d’u mean..” she asked in mumbled voice but the male stared straight into my eyes with disbelief.
“Akak ni orang Islam jadi tak salah kan kalau tegur benda tak elok?”
The girl face turned pale. .So did the man. [Muka nmpk matang sket. Entah2 laki orang]
“Meskipun akak cuma pakai preman dan bukan kat balai sekarang, tp tak salah kalau bagi nasihat kan.?” They nodded modestly.
“T..tak salah kak. Terima kaseh..tapi . “ the girl all of a sudden turned to her pair. “Tapi kami orang Thai dan bukan Muslim.” Kalau aku tak silap I saw the sun rose in that man’s face.
Maak.. I was monkeyly stunned [terkejut beruk]

Despite my desperate need to banish myself at that split second, I feigned a smile and joked a bit to control macho punya pasal.
“Ha ha..you caught me..sorilaa dik.” Bengangnya.

“Its alright, most people can barely distinguish between a Malay and Thailand people coz our feature are quite alike, don’t you think so?” I just nodded with bengang.

“Anyway behave yourself next time..Siamese pun tentu ada agama kan..? Mereka mengangguk dan berterima kasih lalu beredar dengan cepat.
Menyesal aku. Eii..bencinya dengan perangai aku yang kaki menyibuk ni..malunyerrrrr..Infact, kat mana-mana pun kalau aku tak suka sesuatu aku akan tegur directly and spontaneously. Nasib baik so far, belum kena maki. Tapi aku pernah tegur sorang tua jgn hisap rokok kerana mungkin ada yang berpenyakit lelah duduk berhampiran. He yelled back frantically, ”Eden pon lolah jugak!” Mak datuk, tau pun lelah, hisap jugak. Eiiii!

Well..back to the two Thais tadi,

As they walked past me, I heard the guy murmuring..
“Kena mengucap balik kalau tak you murtad..”it was the male’s voice.

Aku terkasima, speechless.

Let's go 2 IMAN's Graduation Ceremony - UITM's 71st convocation

22nd, THIS most popular gedung ilmu held it's grad. ceremony n it was 4 their learners who finally call a halt to their years of mugging and unremitting assignments. I witnessed flocks of parent congregated at the Dewan Sri Budiman. Swollen with pride... argh, saat bahagiakan..?

Fitrina took 2 days MC nk sme2 celebrate momen brsejarah adik dia. Tipikal akak sulongkan? Boboy yg eldest, terikat dgn tugas yg gabisa[pinjam dialek kang Dden kita he heh] d tunda, sent his melancholic wishes jer. Sayang, sayang jugak tp. tugas ttp prioriti.

Two chaps above were very remarkable students somehow, both parents gagal hadir kerna urusan yg gabisa d sanggah. Iman kte, jdlaa mk angkat momentarily utk dOrg so..I let'em enterfrm kat sini. Xpelaa..nampak pun mcm knk2 baik- ha ha

Salam Lebaran fr me n the kids[ r dey still children.? Wonder..!]

D original post ter'evicted' n banished nowhere 2 be found..so I copied this fr a little segment or rather, scrap..left by the memory lane side..

Unlike the typical blissful Raya as usual without their beloved dad around...besalaa.

But albeit the nonexistence f that particular element - the children did cope a boisterous n cheerful Raya.

Somewhat managed to yank out all the old nostalgic sentiment bla..bla..bla..

D weird side was..pra n pasca Raya ney..body anatomy aku, boboy dan iman already chasing most of the wardrobe content..fuuh sdeh.. aku daa lebih 60 kg..eldest son lbeh lg..Iman tmbh menggebu - Thanx to the selected chows of high calory foodstuffs yg kte org consumed sblom n lpas posa..menyesal - Ikut nafsu badan terus lesu..

Haruskah aku berkarya lagi.. malasnyer..

Laziness is so overpowering. Tensed? Yup. Eldest son is getting married. Another son is far across the sea. Two daughters are maturing and never satisfy with their achievement n these 2 ears f mine aint capable of conceiving anything - anymore.
Tadi aku suka2 bkak MPH bestsellers dan ironinya, bertepatan hari ney 13hb, novel Kalimah Jiwa plak berada d carta ke 13. Kalau mat saleh daa menggigil takut..most of them are paranoid dgn angka 13!
Sometimes this chest starts promoting little pain. Very faint but..surely scaring. N headaches - it's a common cliche already. I heard a lot 'bout shock n it was so terrifying.
Eventhou shock may refer to few diff. condition but goodness knows.... what I mean is, 'that' serious condition - followed by sudden drop in blood pressure. Tol tak? Then this will be followed by harsh pain coz of d emotional strain. Konon kata, the plasma menerobos keluar dari dinding kapilari dan mendap ke tisu. Daa berpluh thun blaja psl 2, betul ke? Bende2 ni merendahkn tekanan darah . And the devoted heart f our's which try to overcome this by beating faster ends up with weakening heartbeat coz it does not receive ample blood. Kulit mula rasa sejuk and clammy, perspires tak henti2. Peparu dan ginjal fail to get rid of wastes properly. Dan bahan yg sepatutnya mengalami perkumuhan ni mula meracun. Hal ni dan lack of oxygen akan menyebabkan kematian tiba-tiba kalau X sempat d rawat.
Takutnya.. really scary and bloodcurdling. I won't force myself to write anymore coz writing won't be a commitment unless if you are really up to it. Tak semestinya when ur head is oveflowed wth ideas, semuanya mesti d terjemahkan k dlm bentuk mnskrp. Bley je simpan n publish them when you really set your heart 2 write. You have to enjoy writing 2 produce a good novel. I've done that with Sentuhan Cinta and I'm sure many appreciated d novel. Kalimah Jiwa d tlis kerna satu misi utk menyedarkn certain golongan dan Ku Mohon Kasih terluah kerna d satu kesempatan, I've witnessed few Kelantanese suffered greatly when their pasangan from other state left them in agony. Some were abandoned with one or three kids and left without a penny to survive. Sdehnya..ada yg merana sakit jiwa bler psgn hdup kembali k tempat asal to settle back with their first wife yg tak tau menau pun tntg prkhwnn bru hubby mereka yg plang dgn muka tak bersalah.
Hmm.. nantilah. Aku akan berkarya lagi..bila tiada tekanan. Menulis sambil menjiwai setiap plot yg terhasil dgn penuh komitmen dan kerelaan.. Supaya Moon trsyg tak pitam melihat manuskrp yg tunggang langgang..

SOMETHING IS WRONG SOMEWHERE...Terribly wrong...amiss..

D's nothing more intimidating than when a novelist is hooked up wth this penyakit called malas menulis. And this feeling seems to be steadily rising [me]. Two month I quit clicking d microsoft word..n funny though I can't find even d slightest reason 4 such unconstructive attitude - why! Aduz..Have you ever wondered why few writers sometimes feels they're working in a vacuum in front f their PCs or laptops? Not writer's block as my sis Rosiah theorized. But just lazy.. merely lazy..And this teruk feeling that ur accomplishment go clunk..? How u wish to smack or spank any penulis who comes up and mutter with pride  the phrase like..'I tak boleh kalau tak menulis satu hari'. Bukan cemburukan dedikasi mereka..But just yearning to be among them.  To sideswipe this unenthusiastic and uncooperative 'inner you' is not easy.
Tiba-tiba..teringat pula yg aku ni berzodiak Gemini. Errmm.. ada harapan sembuh dari penykt neyh..
Born under this sign. is awesome since there are  two sides in every Gemini woman. Superficial or inconsistent. Sometimes may be lively and yet another part of us can be nervy. Unable to commit to anything constant n continuous. Tp boleh percaya ke..Ini bkn ramalan tp random search or survey  about the behaviour buat  mereka yg lahir dlm certain-certain month. Sebenarnya kurang baik  sikap begini I admit so ..kenalah  juga menongkah arus and try to place urself in d '5 percent' category. Bt at this specific moment..tunggu dululah..Cuba  belajar ubah sikap..

Menyamar sekali sekala

Kak Ipar kte, tlg blikn Kalimah Jiwa, nak hadiahkn pd sorg cikgu 2. Akak kte blilh sndri, buat malu jer pnlis bli bku sendri. {macamlh awk 2 org knl sgt..heheh}
Lalu akk pn brcdg k JJ. Pki sun glasses, posing brbza dr slalu.[Slalu slekeh jer dgn blaus n jeans- daa tua pn pki jeans lg] Dgr citer kt JJ bku 2 msih trpamer as bestsellers. Belek punyer belek, dtg bbrp pmbli n trus ngkt nvl 2. Tahan mrka n pura2 tnyer.
Best ke..? Kalo best nk bli. Mrka buat thumb up. Ranumnyer hati.
Tp bler slh sorg mengaku, "Bli nvl ni..psl daa muak dgn title2 cinta ney - stdk2nyer bku ni x de prktaan tu.." Terkesima beta.
Another one ckp - "bku Haiza Njw sblm ni sdap jugak, Ku Mohon Kasih. Br prasan bku author ney xda prktaan cinta." Aduhai.. itu jer ke sebabnyer..?
Aku melingas ke sekeliling n ada Sentuhan Cinta. 'CINTA...!!!' Aduuh.. cabut lagi baik! Tk snggup dengar komen strusnyer..

Yng bercat merah mengepung bebi dibwh d yakini makam Abi Waqas jga pintu masuk k makam. Di bawah, dipercayai makam sahabatnya - wallahualam

Sabar bebi.. tggu ur bro kt UPM 2 selesai brglut dgn segala mcm haiwan 2. Lps dia grad..bebi ad be...be...rp thn lg nk mrse konvo ney.. x sumer bley lompat cam Adi Putra!

Doakn usia ibu pnjg utk trut mrsai detik gemilang itu..aduhai - anak-anakku, 'buah hatiku!'

Konvo anak k 2 Fitrin

Rami parents kesat air mata mrka mse ni. As 4 me - takde laa ter emo atau apa2. Biasa2 aje. Janji ank da capai matlamat pengajiannye. 2 pn dia bsing nk smbg master.
Tp kala I mmandu k S. Alam anta Iman plang k premis kdiamannye, I dpt sms dr Fitrin. Dia tak pulang krn stayed bck d kolej ada unsettled  biz.
Mesej 2 lbh krg bunyi gini 'Ibu..t.kasih krn support Ina smpi konvo..' aduhai -sshnye nk kontrol macho dpn ank2 yg lain. Tetapi  saat aku sedang menaip ni..lruhlaa airmataku..brlmba sebak memenuhi relung hati. Lantas terkenang arwah - yg selalu bangga dengan anak2nya. Akk psti dia akan lebih sebak daripada kak Haiza skrg. At last anakku...  You made it!

FOR D SARAWAKIANS - appreciate d beauty in ur locality - Sundown in Pantai Tg Batu and MLNG panorama.