SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI MINAL AIDIL WAL FA IZIN! To Muslim and Non Muslim as well

Over the blessed month of Ramadan, some writers have completed their manuscripts while me..? Keep altering the plot because I always want the best for my readers. Some have sent their comments that the novel Ilusi Hati and Aku Yang Menanti were rather heavy stuffs so now, I'm trying to pen something ringan. It takes all the effort to do something against the norms. Few chinese readers want so much to know and explore about this paranormal thing so, I added something bizzare in the manuscript..hmm..tunggulaa!

NOW IT'S HARI RAYA..!!!! HARI LEBARAN..? EID MUBARAK..?
Whatever you wish to call that big day, it's still the most awaited event by mostly children [got also kanak-kanak tua tak sabar nak beraya- terutama mummy2 jarum yg krincing-krincing-tak sabar nak tayang]

BUT IN the midst of today's economic landscape and weather? Aiyoo..malang2 sumer manyiak mahal meh..
ERMM..SO...DON'T FORCE YOURSELF DOING THE UNNECESSARY SHOPPING, chuck out the unneeded items from your beli-belah list.Bolehlaa
Selamat menyambut Lebaran yang indah, syahdu dan penuh bermakna. Try eating less ayy..Hari Raya aftermath,normally I will see a sizeable number of patients flooding the clinics.Phuuh..penuh!! Why arr..? Doctors really make money every Hari Raya. I bet majority of the doctors really look forward, can't wait for Hari Raya to menjelang..ha ha. Selamat hari raya doc.
Well..enjoy the feasting and time with family and friends! ...
AGAIN HAPPY MEANINGFUL RAYA, no accident on the road please, rubb off that image of Schumaker from your mind at least for the first week of Raya. please..please..please.. I beg you - ramai jadi yatim dan piatu pre dan pasca Raya. We must avoid this phenomenon, unless it's Allah's will.. then, no question!
bace this before you maneuver the steering to any destination = SubhanAllahhilazi sakharalana haza wama kunnalahu mukhrini na wainna ila rabbina lamun qalibun[correct me if I'm wrong]..salam sayang.....

Come on..lets be a novelist. The least you can do is publish a book. You owe that to yourself ayy? Come on dear!

Look at what this link can offer you. Sift tru and learn something from it..Uccay..?

http://iasiuns.blogspot.com/2009/09/cara-menulis-novel-dlm-100-hari-atau.html
Arghh..what the hell. Actually that wasn't really what I wanna focus this time. Bulan pose pun nak tipu..apalaa Haiza Najwa neyh.
What I really wish to discuss is something about insulting. People spew at you and get away with it. Just like that! Boleh ke? I came across several cases like this mann..and God Forbid, I shed my tears in silent. No one knew of course. And when I made my appearance publicly, it would be a happy beaming Haiza Najwa. Uisyy..kontrol ke haper?
So..I came up with this..
1)What to do if someone keeps insulting you?
what I would do is just ignore them and show that you dont care.... they are doing it just to make themselves feel better on a problem they are going through because they dont want to feel miserable...Miserable? Can you guess what a mess people could get into when they're in their worst deplorable state?

That's it..!! Was that the best I could get..? One stupid quotation and I reckon that could solve all?
The answer is yes! Yes...all yes!

Tak cayer? Ask urself when was it the last time you insulted other people? And the truth please..Ahah..I guess the quotation does ring the bell somehow, betul tak? Learn from it and you can strive to be less insulting and in RETURN others won't insult you. What goes around..comes around..what goes up, comes down.. Janji Pencipta..bukan hukum karma saja..hehehhh [smile :} ]

Stop feeling sad and be happy

A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go and thus you have to, with your level best, deny that sense of injury and so the injury itself disappears as a saying goes that hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable and yesss, take this, regret for the things we did can be tempered by time hence, it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable and that is actually something to really make you very sad..;) GOOD LUCK everybody..be happy! Try to live your life to the FULLEST!!!

Lama sudah tidak kujengah blogku. Salam dan kupersembahkan karya terbaruku.

Kisah cinta tulus seorang suami terhadap isterinya. Perkahwinan yg diasaskan oleh sebuah persahabatan dan pupukan kasih sayang sejak kecil hingga mengelopak menjelmakan cinta yg indah.
Sayang sekali perkahwinannya disabotaj oleh rakan sendiri yang jatuh cinta begitu parah sekali terhadap isterinya. Akhirnya duri dalam daging itu berjaya mempengaruhi isteri yang terpenjara di sebuah depoh tahanan wanita di saat percutian bulan madu mereka. Konon najis heroin yg ditemui dalam bagasi si isteri adalah angkara khianat si suami. . Hinggalah siisteri menguja iltizamnya demi membalas dendam pada suami yang hakikatnya dianiaya rakan karib sendiri bernama Robin . Keluar saja dari Dochas Center, Zaidura yg menukar nama pd 'Zeidra' atas usaha Robin menukar imej dan parasnya demi menjadikan pembalasan dendam itu suatu lestari.
Mampukah Adiwira[suami] membuktikan kejujurannya di ambang misi dendam itu hampir terlaksana untuk menjerutnya. Dan bagaimanakah dia akhirnya mampu mengecam wanita yg menyamar sebagai pekerjanya itu ialah isteri yg dirindui yg dikatakan Robin menghilangkan diri selama 5 tahun semata-mata curang kerana mengikut lelaki lain?

PELARIAN

~Ingin kuberlari di samudera cintamu


dan menyelam di kejauhan dasarnya

biar kukutip segala khazanah yang kaupendam

lalu menyimpannya di hatiku

untuk kau lihat di esok hari

~Ingin kuberlari mengejar ombak di samudera cintamu

dan bercempera dibuih-buih yang bercanda

biar kupilin dan kupintal remis laut

lalu kuuntai menjadi kalung cinta

untuk kupersembahkan dengan sehalus kasihku

~Ingin kumudiki samudera cintamu

dan melayarkan gentalaku ke segara lautannya

biar menjunam dihempas gelombang cintamu

lalu karam ke dasarnya

untuk berkubur dalam pelukanmu

~Ingin kujadi camar di samudera cintamu

dan mengibar sayapku dipermukaannya

biar kuintai wajahmu yang terpapar di tiap kilauan airnya

lalu menelusuri apakah ada bait-bait yang  terapung di situ

tertulis bahawa dikau masih mencintaiku

bagai dulu

aargh..bisakah kutemui

bait seindah itu..?

Happy New Year!

With every New Year, sure..sure, welcome the arrival of new challenges! For writers yg rajinlaa..let's welcome to the new opportunities and new ideas.  But how to achieve  one's goals, targets while renewing all the strategies in order to keep pace with the changing nature of the NEW YEAR SO AS TO remain relevant?  KUIKUIKUI ~ Contemplate dear.. [with smile and 1001 hopes]
TRY THIS RESOLUTION AYY?
Throw all the effort to be a little succesful.
 Life is not complete if you don't realise  your maximum potential and and try to be successful. Anyway, the distinctness of success may vary from individual to individual. Person to person.  Whatever your definition of success  is, you must resolve to be thriving in life. Try not to fail in implementing them COBA YERR DARLING? 
 Success is great input and stimulant for happiness and long life. This includes your resoluteness to earn more wealth, set up a new job or task, manage time  and organise ourself. Perhaps it's rather overdoing to advice you to devote so much time and all efforts  so, be relax while keeping pace or retaining the consistencies  of every crusade and fight [harap tak over] So try laah  ..try dear..
SO SELAMAT TAHUN BARULAH DARI SAYA HAIZA NAJWA. Jgn luper bce novel2 sy.

please don't be an ignorant mother

DON’T BE LIKE ME




What I WISH to tell you all, may sound very common to others. But as for me, it was real heartbreaking for a mother. A sheer act of ignorance and of course ‘selfishness’ is the best interpretation. Decide yourself viewers, how you wish to define or translate.

Whether you would accuse me of being braggart, showing off or whatever, you have all the rights by all means!  But do, read this first!

Here is a good example of a mother who is damn selfish and of course, ignorant! For throughout my  life, before this,  not even once I tried to share or explored my youngest daughter’s dreams or ambition, or what she wished to become in her future. Why? Because she’s the most loved baby of mine! Any ambition would means a  career.  And having a career would mean, she could be  pulled away from my side.

I'm probably not as concerned as my late husband about the children’s welfare, education-wise. In fact, I was less concerned about myself too. I was kind of complacent Malay woman. A   kinda category that would always be satisfied  with what  she has. And to me, showering them with love was more important. Surpassed  everything else including their education. So,  I let them did as they please.

I wasn't that all in and out about my children's education , since my concern was more on providing them with love, cares and other material needs. Tuition-wise, I'd send them if they wish me to do so and hardly would forced them  should they opt not to attend them. But fate was beautiful and most of them were always eager to learn. And beautiful still was the fate, when most of them managed to get straights A's for their prime exams and each one of them  made it to the ivory towers. One of them even ‘lompat kelas’

It’s so happened that when my husband demised. I got too close with the youngest. I treated her overly until she became too spoiled. As consequence, she never appreciated the money or things given to her , even when it came to food. She’s showered lavishly. And makan-wise, only savor on special menus.  But I like  her principle, which is,  never trust anyone  else other than me the loving momma!

She would sleep in my arms otherwise she could not sleep, despite being 12 years of age! And eating , I still spoonfed her! She never did her school works either.  But  never did I nag or bother her in return. If I had to go anywhere might it be out of the country or outstation, I would never hesitate to  bring along her. Even that would mean she had to skip classes for so many days. God! I didn't want her to be so successful afraid she might go far to further her studies. Or for other opportunities held for her.

Now, it’s standard 6

Once she asked me, momm aren’t you going to send me for tuition? My result are hell worst.”

I told her, it’s okay with me  if there was anybody  willing to send her to and fro the tuition premises since I ‘m myself is very  busy. I wouldn't  mind paying extra amount  should there be anyone interested to carry out that task for me. She retorted, "it does not matter, since the school also provides tuition." So things went on as usual. Like the conversation never occurred.

In the meantime she was often called by her teachers for truancy, and she rarely did her home works. Even  myself was being contacted and asked by her teacher to observe her studies and school works . As you could  guess, I did not really bother. And just let that incident  passed  . Wasn't that important anyway. After all, we would surely part if she pandai sangat!

But one or two months before her UPSR I noticed she never missed her additional class and tuition at school. Although she hardly hold a book when at home. She told me, her teachers methode of teaching were getting more and more interesting. I dengar tak dengar saja.

But on the first day of UPSR’s exam, before climbing down the car to sit for her first day exam she said in a trembling voice

"Mom, can you pray for me. I'm afraid if I can’t get thru this exam. But I already did the solat hajat and doa. . Pray for my success momm please?" She said that many times as she grasped my hand so tightly. She really was scared!

I was dumbfounded, and so nodded. Because to be honest, I scantily prayed for her to achieve well in her exam other than praying for her good life and health and to be a good Muslim. As for her UPSR, langsung tak terjamah doaku!

So while driving home, I was weeping so badly, everytime her pleading voices touches my eardrum again and again. Then only I realized that I was wrong, was ignoring her in the UPSR focus. Realized the damage I had  done.

Ever since that moment and day, I would be tearful and kept weeping when my impulse recalled all those words she said. God, if it is just too late,  how I wished  semalam menjadi milikku semula .

SO TODAY, this morning while I was waiting for the results of the UPSR, I grabbed the hands of one of the teacher, the one my daughter really sayang and told her that I was afraid she could not make it. and yes, I couldnt ’t help my tears from dripping. I wept infront of her. I wasn't afraid of her being a flunk. But afraid she would blame me for years,  for not putting  much interest in her study.

But GOD IS GREAT, to my shock, her name was second to be announced as achiever of the stunning result!!

I'm speechless! Flabbergasted!!

God I screamed dgn muka tak malu kat org lain and ran to her seat. Seeing her face wet with tears I rasa nak pitam and at that time, I noticed who she really was in my eyes, the most shining 'mutiara dari laut plg dalam' . She’s the most beautiful, most spoiled, most soothing to my heart.  And I LOVE HER TO THE DEEPEST ABYSS IN MY HEART.

GOD she had succeeded! Succeed with the permission of God, the greatness of her trained teachers and on her own. And my very small portion of prayers. .

I'm ashamed of it! Ashamed for not being a part of her phenomenal success, or WAS I….

Please all mothers out there..dun be like me!

FRAGMENTS of yesterday

had a dream about you last night


vision of you stood up there

waving me with longing gaze

I looked above. . marveled at the abruptly visible lunar

Dark tarnished sky was gone

nite luminous with twinkling stars

wondered was the moment real?



standing over a distance ~ was you

The breeze whispered the words that you missed me

God how mellifluous the sound was to my ears..

I stirred closer

only to see you backed away

“this world is a no home for me

thus I could not remain behind

Dwell not over the past,

irrespective how full your heart of loves for me



Wherever there’s horizon, there’s always be

a part of me there

we bound to meet again..till then

make me happy by beaming to your heart..



You moved away, and left me staring at the bleary vision

you're becoming more and more out of reach

drifting away  amidst the darkness

then your frail illusion

faded before my teary eyes

tell me, sayang

Just.. where  do  I belong

In this world without you
God help me..

Aura Wanita Malaysia

Me..a real flabbergasted momma ..
There's this lad. One of many,   I picked him coz he's the smartest looking compared to the rest.  And he's from across the sea.  Well.. sure can interpret what I mean,. This one keeps on messaging me. And the despicable part is that the act is done throu my FB inbox. He really adds the amounting figure and heaven knows how I hate opening the inbox, alwez feel threatened by the amount which keeps on amounting no matter how frequent you delete'em.  A real menacing fact to face everyday. And to this lad,   I told him to call a halt to his pursuing.  And this lad's favourite remark that's really annoying is,
 Mba kuingin mengenalimu lebih dalam, hatiku tersentuh sekali dengan mba yg begitu enak kupandang. Enak?
 What am I to him?   What kind of expression is that?  Do I look like  Nasi Lemak Sambal Sotong Kering to him?  That is torturous enough. Real excruciating..damn!  Especially when it's a citation  from someone as childlike as him. He's scantily over 24! Why youngsters from that region loves blathering weird remarks like that and at the same time revealing the naive trait in their personality.  Perhaps not all, but still it ain't modest to keep on approaching someone older with remark like that.  Ain't that so?
So tak tahan, I fikir biar I settle this once and for all.
"Lad..you're fit to be my son, quit what you are doing now.  Tak manis dan mba rasa tak selesa. Quit sending me love poems too for it's really bothering dan tak manis utk kanak-kanak seusiamu."
"Sy justeru bukan kanak-kanak spt yg mba katakan."
"Awak muda sangat nak, nk bercinta ke haper niih?  Eii..solatlah selalu dear."
"Sy mang tak pernah tinggal solat.  Tapi sy ske gaya mba gitu.  Sangat personaliti." Aiikk..bahasa pertuturan amende tuuh..dalam hatiku saja.
"Sy lihat byk skali novel mba.  Mba sgt hebat di mata saye."
"Sy sudah terangkan yg sy bukan mude lagi nak.  Dan ramai lagi penulis dg novel lebih banyak daripada beta. And I'm much older than you sonny!"
Two day after that.
"Yeah..itu yg sering saya fikirkan.  kerana angka spt tak menyentuh mba."
"What..?"
"Maksud sy, mba punya aura yg begitu hebat skali, di usia ini mba masih kelihatan sangat muda."
Aku terkedu.  Rasa sayu terharu pun ada.  Tapi ikhlas ke. he heh
"Awak suke sy macam mana dik?"
One hour after that.
"Sy sgt menyanjung mba. Sgt minat mba.  Mba sangat hebat di mata sy."

"Yeah..perlu ke mba terima kasih.  Takpe laa terima kasih nak.  Tp slpas ni panggillah bunda ya?"
Di situ bicara kami berakhir.
Disagreed kot!
In a way, it's kinda assuaging.  But at times, I feel like.. such an ungrateful dullard plus lotsa idiot.  Pity that innocent boy.
Then recently, I received another message from him.  With another love poem attached to it.  For the first time I really sifted tru his poem and grow to love every verses.  God he's such a poet laureate! It was a beautiful poem and how I wish I can turn myself to be  a sweet seventeen so that I could respond freely to such  lovely rhymes. Respond to him too   ;)
Below, there's a note.  I felt a quiver running thru my spine reading it.
"Mba, kite terpisah lautan yg bukan kecil utk ku renangi.  Salahkah jika sy brperasaan spt itu pd mba krn bukannya sy akan sbrangi ke sana buat menganggu atau mndekati hidup mba. Bisakan bercinta begini.  tiada yg rugi dan tiada satu apa yg bisa trjejas.  ianya indah mba, perasaan itu mang indah jika saja mba mau menelusurnya."
I didn't reply.  But I wish I cud paste the poem in my FB for it's a divine beauty  but via other's FB that poem cud easily catch his eyes regardless of the fact that I   have already removed him from my list. 
Dan satu message kuterima dpd dia baru2 ini dan katanya..dan ini I rasa harus I sampaikan pada seluruh wanita di Malaysia.
"Hairan ya mba, sy lihat banyak wanita Malaysia lambat tua.Masih kelihatan muda dilanjut usia mereka."  Satu penghargaan niih.
Yg ini sy replied.
"Sude begitu lanjutkah usia mba padmu dik?"
Mesej balasnya. At night on the same date.
"Owh tak mba.  Jangan salah faham.  Itu sy tujukan pd wanita2 di Malaysia.  Bukan mba.  Mba lain.  Sgt istimewa di hati sy."
Sekarang sy termangu.
Oh yeahh..?  Kalau bukan wanita Malaysia..saya ni wanita apa?  See?  A slight error in your remark already interpreted a funny picture.  So teoriku, dia ni mesti hanya belajar dipesantren.
So I did some search..Giler2 aku cari nama dia.. Look what I found!
Goodness, he's a grad fr.  Universitas Gajah Mada..Dumbstricken that was my condition.
Tp tak taulaa kot dia sj2 tlis.  Byk org buat gitu erkk?

to Hasrul Nizam, Ruler of RepublikN9

lacking imaginativeness is truly an impediment  to any writer.  Hate this kinda obstructions, make me wanna throw aside my PC n notebook.  AND hate the damn bloody stimulus that stimulate the whole phenomenon which brush aside the best element in the head faculty - the so called intuition.  Being trapped  in this sorta occlusion made me realized how foolish I was.  God I was almost at my peak and I destroy it over a worthless sent.....?



Sorry Hasrul, I kedana idea so I copy the simple sajak from my FB and paste it here. Daa janji ngan you kan? Aargh..so enjoy it laa..


sebuah catatan

~season adjoins another
as times arrive and banish from sight
leaving tearfilled eyes, broken heart

can't help but wonder

those who left behind ~

that fate left alive
fagged without soul ~

clambering with adversity
wud they survive..?

~But grief evanesce tardily


so what will I do without you...

with tomorrow.. in distant world

and promises that were led astray

just how could you..?